She's back
She's been gone for a LONG time. As I mean in "long time" as "years".
We use to joke around here we had a ghost in our house. Music would start playing. Electrical plugs all of a sudden wouldn't work. Other little things. Including, waking up in the middle of the night to Bob Marley playing on the computer.
Not the computer that is used on a regular basis. You know, the one in the corner.
This hasn't happened FOREVER. In fact, the boys and I kind of thought whom our ghost "might be". About 2.5 years ago, all our "weird" - as we call our "ghost" activities stopped.
No random music. No clocks re-setting. Just living.
Then, well, the other night.
A friend of mine has a momma cat and kittens at her house. For a fraction of second, I actually thought "Well, Maybe I should take one".
In fact, I even requested the picture.
Then, I realized the kittens were only two weeks old. They looked like rats. In fact, the momma cat looked more appealing to me. But in my heart I also knew my friend and her family were in love with the momma cat.
As you see, we aren't big on babies around here.
That night, my 13 year old fat cat? He knocked over 2 plants and ran across my bed all night. Until of course, he fell asleep on my face.
No.
No kittens aloud. We get that.
AND
tonight?
I was sitting here, writing this blog.
My candle went out.
My phone started playing my favorite song (granted, that was the last song I heard)
The cat jumped down from the front window
Another plant fell over.
Seriously.
I don't believe in these things. I don't think.
I've been worried about a couple of friends of mine. I think my ghost is too.
She's back.....
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Wild Child
No, this isn't about one of my kids. Or me either, at least not as a child.
It's about my Gypsy Soul.
You know, the one whom should really be in charge, but she can't. She's not responsible enough. She's the dreamer.
We just have to remember to let her out every once in a while.
For the last month, the career woman in me has been working 12 hour days - maybe 16 hour days. Waking up energized to get things done. Accomplish what she can. At least at work.
A friend called a couple of months ago and asked me to help streamline some things at her company. Then someone quit, someone needed to be hired. Another friend called and could add me to their payroll to recruit and fill some positions - on a retained hourly basis.
Imagine that. Actually getting paid for what I do. (Rates vary, but that way there is a guarantee).
Then next thing I know. Work is so busy, I can't see straight. The funny thing is, I nearly wrote "life is so busy". But "life" isn't really that busy - hockey season has ended. And well, the boys drive now, I have been complaining I was a little "bored".
I should know better.
So, I've been working. Working at work. Not "working" on finding a new adventure. A new "goal".
Just working.
Then I heard this song called "Wild Child" (sorry there will be a commercial first) and I had tears in my eyes. I listened to the song again. Another time with tears.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear the song. The same results. Water comes out my eyes. Every. Single. Time.
Usually when the career woman/hockey mom has been in charge for too long, the Gypsy Girl (or should I call her the Wild Child), comes screaming out. Pretending she doesn't care whom she makes cry. Wrecking havoc in our orchestrated little life.
This time, the career woman didn't "discipline" her wild child. She spoke softly. Patiently. With a voice of wisdom to a child.
Maybe that's the problem with adolescence. We didn't know those adults were right. We thought they were wrong. It's also the problem with adulthood, we need to learn to communicate with each other.
"Gypsy Girl, your time will come." loudly announced the career woman to the Wild Child. Then the career woman whispered, "I know you don't want me in charge, but you will have more freedoms soon, if you can let me be in charge now."
Shhh.......
Leaders know, the people they put in charge are actually more capable than them. They make the leaders better. The leaders know you hire people better than you.
"Gypsy, we are working on our transition" said only something a true leader can say.
It's about my Gypsy Soul.
You know, the one whom should really be in charge, but she can't. She's not responsible enough. She's the dreamer.
We just have to remember to let her out every once in a while.
For the last month, the career woman in me has been working 12 hour days - maybe 16 hour days. Waking up energized to get things done. Accomplish what she can. At least at work.
A friend called a couple of months ago and asked me to help streamline some things at her company. Then someone quit, someone needed to be hired. Another friend called and could add me to their payroll to recruit and fill some positions - on a retained hourly basis.
Imagine that. Actually getting paid for what I do. (Rates vary, but that way there is a guarantee).
Then next thing I know. Work is so busy, I can't see straight. The funny thing is, I nearly wrote "life is so busy". But "life" isn't really that busy - hockey season has ended. And well, the boys drive now, I have been complaining I was a little "bored".
I should know better.
So, I've been working. Working at work. Not "working" on finding a new adventure. A new "goal".
Just working.
Then I heard this song called "Wild Child" (sorry there will be a commercial first) and I had tears in my eyes. I listened to the song again. Another time with tears.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear the song. The same results. Water comes out my eyes. Every. Single. Time.
Usually when the career woman/hockey mom has been in charge for too long, the Gypsy Girl (or should I call her the Wild Child), comes screaming out. Pretending she doesn't care whom she makes cry. Wrecking havoc in our orchestrated little life.
This time, the career woman didn't "discipline" her wild child. She spoke softly. Patiently. With a voice of wisdom to a child.
Maybe that's the problem with adolescence. We didn't know those adults were right. We thought they were wrong. It's also the problem with adulthood, we need to learn to communicate with each other.
"Gypsy Girl, your time will come." loudly announced the career woman to the Wild Child. Then the career woman whispered, "I know you don't want me in charge, but you will have more freedoms soon, if you can let me be in charge now."
Shhh.......
Leaders know, the people they put in charge are actually more capable than them. They make the leaders better. The leaders know you hire people better than you.
"Gypsy, we are working on our transition" said only something a true leader can say.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
An Exit Strategy
Planning for the end.
That makes no sense to me. "Why would we plan the ending? We don't even know the start. Or the middle. Much less how this is all going to end!"
2002, I bought a company. Actually, I bought two of them. It was part of my "mid-life" crisis. I leveraged my entire life. Took a risk.
I remember people telling me - "Plan your exit strategy". Thinking "No, I'm doing this!", "Why would I want to STOP doing this". Isn't that the WHOLE point of jumping in? Moving forward?
We BUY in.
We are told to "buy in" to everything. Why would we want to plan to leave? Isn't that a little like saying "this isn't going to work?" A bit like a pre-nup? I promise to love you forever, but if forever comes sooner than we thought, here is how we are going to go down different roads without each other.
Why would I want an exit strategy?
Why would I want to EXIT a perfect place?
BECAUSE:
In business - as I've learned, we want to build up something that someone else wants - then when we need to know how to be rewarded for all our hard work, and go on.
When I was getting ready to do my first triathlon - that was 11 years ago this summer, by the way - a girlfriend of mine (whom had done many triathlons) kept telling me "Practice your transition". (BTW, that's a swim, then a bike ride, then a run)
I thought, when we bought things. Oh wait, acquired things, earned things, agreed to things - they were ours to keep.
Forever.
But that's not true.
Things are just temporary.
Experiences are forever. Feelings are forever. Some feelings change over time.
At some point, you must learn to exit. The water. Get off the bike. Or stop running.
There is a finish line ahead.
or another start line......
Make sure you have a strategy.
It's not a bad thing.
That makes no sense to me. "Why would we plan the ending? We don't even know the start. Or the middle. Much less how this is all going to end!"
2002, I bought a company. Actually, I bought two of them. It was part of my "mid-life" crisis. I leveraged my entire life. Took a risk.
I remember people telling me - "Plan your exit strategy". Thinking "No, I'm doing this!", "Why would I want to STOP doing this". Isn't that the WHOLE point of jumping in? Moving forward?
We BUY in.
We are told to "buy in" to everything. Why would we want to plan to leave? Isn't that a little like saying "this isn't going to work?" A bit like a pre-nup? I promise to love you forever, but if forever comes sooner than we thought, here is how we are going to go down different roads without each other.
Why would I want an exit strategy?
Why would I want to EXIT a perfect place?
BECAUSE:
In business - as I've learned, we want to build up something that someone else wants - then when we need to know how to be rewarded for all our hard work, and go on.
When I was getting ready to do my first triathlon - that was 11 years ago this summer, by the way - a girlfriend of mine (whom had done many triathlons) kept telling me "Practice your transition". (BTW, that's a swim, then a bike ride, then a run)
I thought, when we bought things. Oh wait, acquired things, earned things, agreed to things - they were ours to keep.
Forever.
But that's not true.
Things are just temporary.
Experiences are forever. Feelings are forever. Some feelings change over time.
At some point, you must learn to exit. The water. Get off the bike. Or stop running.
There is a finish line ahead.
or another start line......
Make sure you have a strategy.
It's not a bad thing.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Manifesto
Several years ago (we aren't sure of an exact date), a girlfriend was over and we decided to come up with a "Manifesto" for our lives.
Not a "mission statement". But things we wanted to do. Create. Be. In our lives.
Statements. Quotes. Thoughts A MANIFESTO for our lives going forward. Things we were going to add to our lives. Not goals. Create. Things we wanted to read. Some of them were things we wanted to do to send our lives into the future.
Truth be told, I kinda forgot about it. Then I think was last year. She sent me an old e-mail with our manifesto. I just laughed
There was a list of things/statements/goals we were going to do. In reading over it, we did bring a few of the "mantra's" into our lives. Yet some of them, just made me smile.
What I really remember on that manifesto?
The things we said we we wanted to do that were new experiences for us.
I guess the manifesto was about living life to the fullest. Trying new things.
We didn't really incorporate it much into our lives.
The one other thing that sticks out is the following:
Okay - I tried to find it. But I have a new computer. I have an old one too - no place to be found. No wonder true "collectors" kept piles of newspaper clippings in their house or letters. Now. we just file it away and then we can never find it again on a computer. Maybe it is the same thing as a garage - only easier to clean.
With computers, you just pick them up and throw them away. We all think when we are old we are going to sit around going through these things. I don't think we really will.
PSS.
We still haven't made it to the flea market.
Not a "mission statement". But things we wanted to do. Create. Be. In our lives.
Statements. Quotes. Thoughts A MANIFESTO for our lives going forward. Things we were going to add to our lives. Not goals. Create. Things we wanted to read. Some of them were things we wanted to do to send our lives into the future.
Truth be told, I kinda forgot about it. Then I think was last year. She sent me an old e-mail with our manifesto. I just laughed
There was a list of things/statements/goals we were going to do. In reading over it, we did bring a few of the "mantra's" into our lives. Yet some of them, just made me smile.
What I really remember on that manifesto?
The things we said we we wanted to do that were new experiences for us.
One was take a visitor from out of town to view the sunset from the downtown Hyatt bar.
I hate going downtown, but try to show other people our city. I try.
I guess the manifesto was about living life to the fullest. Trying new things.
We didn't really incorporate it much into our lives.
The one other thing that sticks out is the following:
- Go to the Mile High Flea Market
My first thought when she sent this to me again was "And why were we going to the flea market?"
We talked about this and laughed. We had no idea how this had made the "Manifesto List"
But then she sent me this article yesterday:
Truly, these are inspirational Manifestos. Nothing near our thoughts. Ours were more of goals.
But truly. My first thought? Not one of them has an "Attend a Flea Market on them. How could this be a good manifesto?". Something must be wrong with these people.
PS.
Okay - I tried to find it. But I have a new computer. I have an old one too - no place to be found. No wonder true "collectors" kept piles of newspaper clippings in their house or letters. Now. we just file it away and then we can never find it again on a computer. Maybe it is the same thing as a garage - only easier to clean.
With computers, you just pick them up and throw them away. We all think when we are old we are going to sit around going through these things. I don't think we really will.
PSS.
We still haven't made it to the flea market.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
At least we have that
While on my lay over home from Hawaii, I was able to have drinks and fish tacos with an old friend.
This friend of mine has a daughter. A daughter whom is near the age of the boys. It was nice to catch up. It was nice to talk about the kids in an old familiar setting. It was nice to be friends.
Not to worry about feelings or whom was dating was whom. But, two old friends catching up on their lives. Their kids lives.
We talked about the kids. What they are up to these days. The involvement in sports. Or should I say the boys involvement in sports. The girl has stopped participating.
He wasn't too happy that she just hangs out with her boyfriend. She's forgotten sports. She's forgotten her friends. I mentioned, we all do things differently. I wouldn't do things that way. My role is different.
We talked professional sports. We talked about work. We talked about the islands. We talked about life.
When I mentioned I wouldn't say a thing about his daughters mom, he gotta kind of quiet. I then replied, "I'm not going to trash her mom, she lets me see our daughter." It stayed quiet for a bit.
We ate our fish tacos and drank a beer in a moment of peace.
I did say, "She should be swimming." He replied, "Well, we agree on that"
I smiled.
We kept talking.
This friend of mine has a daughter. A daughter whom is near the age of the boys. It was nice to catch up. It was nice to talk about the kids in an old familiar setting. It was nice to be friends.
Not to worry about feelings or whom was dating was whom. But, two old friends catching up on their lives. Their kids lives.
We talked about the kids. What they are up to these days. The involvement in sports. Or should I say the boys involvement in sports. The girl has stopped participating.
He wasn't too happy that she just hangs out with her boyfriend. She's forgotten sports. She's forgotten her friends. I mentioned, we all do things differently. I wouldn't do things that way. My role is different.
We talked professional sports. We talked about work. We talked about the islands. We talked about life.
When I mentioned I wouldn't say a thing about his daughters mom, he gotta kind of quiet. I then replied, "I'm not going to trash her mom, she lets me see our daughter." It stayed quiet for a bit.
We ate our fish tacos and drank a beer in a moment of peace.
I did say, "She should be swimming." He replied, "Well, we agree on that"
I smiled.
We kept talking.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Powers for Good
Part of my "foreshadowing" in life, happened tonight.
Back story - and I've talked about it before - there are events, moments and Deja Vu's in our lives. We just don't always listen.
Sometimes I call it "using my power for good". As I believe, we all have the ability to do this - we just don't listen to God, the Universe, the voice in our head - one or all of the above. Either to tell the story, or just keep our mouths shut.
That is, when I do listen. When I listen to that little voice, I'm "Using my powers for good".
Re-entry back to the real world has been as expected. Busy. However, not depressing. Just glad to be back.
BUT, getting back to my other "normal" routine has been a bit difficult.
On the island, I was going to bed at 8 - 9 pm; I had a baby to wake up and take care of. Then I was up at 4 at the latest. Maybe one day at 4:45 for my "baby duty". It was awesome. Tiring. Probably easier because I knew it was only a week.
Upon returning, I've been in bed at the latest at 9:15pm. - COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED. It's all I can do to stay awake until then.
Work is so busy I can't see straight. Wrapping up the hockey season with the banquet tonight. The finale to the inaugural season for the high school team. Back to the real world.
Only, I keep having weird things happen.
I'm thinking about something or someone - then the phone rings telling me what I was thinking about.
Nolan and I were talking about him liking sugar. The next day, there was an article I received about a teenage boy and his sugar addiction and what he did to combat it. (Note, Nolan is under-weight, but still the article was almost verbatim our conversation).
On Tuesday, I woke up at midnight. My first thought? I need to turn off the ringer on my phone. I don't want it to bother me when it goes off. I went to the bathroom, I went back to bed.
Tonight, after the high school banquet, I stopped at my favorite place on the way home. I'm talking to the couple next to me. She's in real estate. We chat for a bit. She then mentions she sold "my crushes" house when he moved from Denver years ago". (Denver's most eligible bachelor - the one whom I've actually quit 'crushing' on). (That's for you Carolyn) I just smiled and let her tell her story.
Tuesday - when I woke up - there were a couple of texts from Peter Pan. I had woken up to turn my phone off.
Tonight - I didn't have the heart to tell her Denver's most eligible bachelor just bought a new place. I guess he didn't call her. She then tells me, "There is a reason I'm supposed to meet you. Do you ever get that feeling?".
I just smiled. "Yes, I know what you mean."
Using my powers for good.
Back story - and I've talked about it before - there are events, moments and Deja Vu's in our lives. We just don't always listen.
Sometimes I call it "using my power for good". As I believe, we all have the ability to do this - we just don't listen to God, the Universe, the voice in our head - one or all of the above. Either to tell the story, or just keep our mouths shut.
That is, when I do listen. When I listen to that little voice, I'm "Using my powers for good".
Re-entry back to the real world has been as expected. Busy. However, not depressing. Just glad to be back.
BUT, getting back to my other "normal" routine has been a bit difficult.
On the island, I was going to bed at 8 - 9 pm; I had a baby to wake up and take care of. Then I was up at 4 at the latest. Maybe one day at 4:45 for my "baby duty". It was awesome. Tiring. Probably easier because I knew it was only a week.
Upon returning, I've been in bed at the latest at 9:15pm. - COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED. It's all I can do to stay awake until then.
Work is so busy I can't see straight. Wrapping up the hockey season with the banquet tonight. The finale to the inaugural season for the high school team. Back to the real world.
Only, I keep having weird things happen.
I'm thinking about something or someone - then the phone rings telling me what I was thinking about.
Nolan and I were talking about him liking sugar. The next day, there was an article I received about a teenage boy and his sugar addiction and what he did to combat it. (Note, Nolan is under-weight, but still the article was almost verbatim our conversation).
On Tuesday, I woke up at midnight. My first thought? I need to turn off the ringer on my phone. I don't want it to bother me when it goes off. I went to the bathroom, I went back to bed.
Tonight, after the high school banquet, I stopped at my favorite place on the way home. I'm talking to the couple next to me. She's in real estate. We chat for a bit. She then mentions she sold "my crushes" house when he moved from Denver years ago". (Denver's most eligible bachelor - the one whom I've actually quit 'crushing' on). (That's for you Carolyn) I just smiled and let her tell her story.
Tuesday - when I woke up - there were a couple of texts from Peter Pan. I had woken up to turn my phone off.
Tonight - I didn't have the heart to tell her Denver's most eligible bachelor just bought a new place. I guess he didn't call her. She then tells me, "There is a reason I'm supposed to meet you. Do you ever get that feeling?".
I just smiled. "Yes, I know what you mean."
Using my powers for good.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
The truth is
I always like to say, "I'm the worst secret keeper in the world, but I love surprises."
The truth is though, that statement isn't true. The truth is, I will keep a secret until the end of time - if THAT is what someone else would like me to do.
At first, someone else's secret is a burden. You hold on to it too tight. You walk around carrying someone else's secret. But the truth is, once someone tells you their secret? It's no longer a secret. They have now shifted the burden from them to you.
It's a guilt thing.
Once I tell you "don't tell anyone" and then follow it with a big bad secret - well, you share my burden. The truth is, that isn't true.
A secret is only a secret, if really, only you know. If someone else knows, well, we all know how that goes. I tell a friend not to tell. They then tell a friend not to tell. And on and on and on.
Truth is, I usually forget about things people tell me to keep a secret. The moment someone says, "will you keep this confidential", my eyes just roll. For Heaven's sake, I'm a recruiter. I know how much money people make. I know how much money people DON'T make. I know what it will take you to move for a new job. I know when someone is about to propose.
I KNOW ALL SORTS OF SECRETS.
Only, most of the "secrets" I know; other people know too.
I'm not talking about the things friends know about each other - that's just history. No one ever said "OMG, don't ever tell my mom I was puking off the balcony on spring break."
That's just one of those things you file away. Not worthy of a secret status.
Although, I learned a few years ago after starting the blogs: It's great to put it all out there. Not putting a burden on anyone else.
It helps others live vicariously through you.
By being brutally honest, people tell you thank you and stop you on the street.
It also though, at least for me, makes me hold things a bit tighter. I know the world is wondering what I'll do. The funny thing is - I use to never care what others thought of me.
I guess I still don't. It's just harder to share stories knowing we are all weak, when they hold all your secrets too. Waiting for judgement.
So, the other day, I took a trip. A trip without all my viewers/readers/fans. Just me.
Well, me and I'd like to say some others. But this trip was mine.
But it wasn't.
Long story short. I went on a "helping" trip. I took my pilot friend up on a free buddy flight. I took a week off. From everything. Only - I ended up working and taking care of some sweet girls.
So, tonight, I was bumped from my flight. I was trying to get home. There were no seats on the plane for us free passengers.
The truth is, most people would have been mad at this point. Me:Us beggars can't be choosy.
I wasn't mad. I just no longer had a secret to keep.
I walked straight to the ticket counter. There was a blue-eyed guy standing there looking like he had had a long day.
There was me.
Trying to get home.
"So, I understand there is no getting on this flight." I said to the guy at the ticket counter. He said, "that is correct".
"Any chance you could route me through Kona?
The truth is though, that statement isn't true. The truth is, I will keep a secret until the end of time - if THAT is what someone else would like me to do.
At first, someone else's secret is a burden. You hold on to it too tight. You walk around carrying someone else's secret. But the truth is, once someone tells you their secret? It's no longer a secret. They have now shifted the burden from them to you.
It's a guilt thing.
Once I tell you "don't tell anyone" and then follow it with a big bad secret - well, you share my burden. The truth is, that isn't true.
A secret is only a secret, if really, only you know. If someone else knows, well, we all know how that goes. I tell a friend not to tell. They then tell a friend not to tell. And on and on and on.
Truth is, I usually forget about things people tell me to keep a secret. The moment someone says, "will you keep this confidential", my eyes just roll. For Heaven's sake, I'm a recruiter. I know how much money people make. I know how much money people DON'T make. I know what it will take you to move for a new job. I know when someone is about to propose.
I KNOW ALL SORTS OF SECRETS.
Only, most of the "secrets" I know; other people know too.
I'm not talking about the things friends know about each other - that's just history. No one ever said "OMG, don't ever tell my mom I was puking off the balcony on spring break."
That's just one of those things you file away. Not worthy of a secret status.
Although, I learned a few years ago after starting the blogs: It's great to put it all out there. Not putting a burden on anyone else.
It helps others live vicariously through you.
By being brutally honest, people tell you thank you and stop you on the street.
It also though, at least for me, makes me hold things a bit tighter. I know the world is wondering what I'll do. The funny thing is - I use to never care what others thought of me.
I guess I still don't. It's just harder to share stories knowing we are all weak, when they hold all your secrets too. Waiting for judgement.
So, the other day, I took a trip. A trip without all my viewers/readers/fans. Just me.
Well, me and I'd like to say some others. But this trip was mine.
But it wasn't.
Long story short. I went on a "helping" trip. I took my pilot friend up on a free buddy flight. I took a week off. From everything. Only - I ended up working and taking care of some sweet girls.
So, tonight, I was bumped from my flight. I was trying to get home. There were no seats on the plane for us free passengers.
The truth is, most people would have been mad at this point. Me:Us beggars can't be choosy.
I wasn't mad. I just no longer had a secret to keep.
I walked straight to the ticket counter. There was a blue-eyed guy standing there looking like he had had a long day.
There was me.
Trying to get home.
"So, I understand there is no getting on this flight." I said to the guy at the ticket counter. He said, "that is correct".
"Any chance you could route me through Kona?
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