Bad Decisions

Every single day, we make hundreds of decisions.

Split second second decisions. Long term decisions. Decisions we have been thinking about for a while.

We also all make bad decisions.

Should I turn left, instead of right?

You can spend your life second guessing.

I'm not one to keep up with "national news", but there is a story lately that is bothering me. Bothering me, to my core.

I'm not sure, if it bothers me because I'm female.

Or because I have sons.

I can't decide.

It's the story of the Standford guy whom raped a passed out girl.

We know his name. We don't her name - she's the victim.

Do we know his name because he was found guilty? Or did we know it before?

If it's after he was found guilty, I might be more okay with knowing his name.

IN MY OPINION,

We all make bad decisions.

And yes, "SHE, is going to have to live with HIS bad decision for the rest of her life."

HOWEVER, so is he.

What makes her loss any less than his loss of having to live with this bad decision.

She has to live with this everyday.

So does he.

But, to his defense - regardless, right or wrong, they both made bad decisions.

They both drank too much.

I'm going to stop there.

I'm not going to get into the fact of what happened next.

Once again, in my opinion,

He's being held responsible for his actions while under the influence. Is she being held accountable for her actions?

No - No one ever deserves to be raped.

No one ever deserves to be judged for the rest of their life for one bad decision.

Women have wanted equality for years.

Which bad decision should define your life?

My type

A girlfriend of mine was in town last week for work. She has been offered a job here in Denver. Stayed with me for the week while she was working.

She lives in Houston. Her family is there. Her parents are there. Her husbands parents are there too.

The plan is to come to Denver in July. One kid goes to college in August (side note - we are not possibly old enough to have kids going to college!!!!). The other two kids are in middle/high school.

The kids and husband will be here next summer.

We go to dinner. That is, my girlfriend, my dog and I. While she was here.

We were talking about "types". You know, the "what attracts you to someone type."

She declared: "I"m attracted to Tall, Dark and Handsome".

I laughed. She does have her type. Her husband is all of those things.

During dinner, she said, "Did you see the guy at the end of the bar?" I replied, "No". "Now that was my type."

Obviously, he wasn't "my type" or maybe I would have seen him.

My type? We discussed this at length. "I don't have "a type", I proclaimed.

I've loved them old.

young.

dark hair

blonde hair

short

tall

wealthy

poor

I concluded: "I don't really have a type. I've loved them all." I'm a "situational" romance kinda gal. If we like to do the same things, well, then, YOU are my type......

Until she said.......

"What do they all have in common?"  It took us both a couple of days. I awoke in the middle of the night with the answer.

Ah......

They are all perpetual bachelors.

Said, the bachelorette........

What If

I've got it all planned.

Duncan leaves in August to play hockey not officially yet sure where. There are several options. College has been deferred for a year. Even if he plays junior hockey here in Colorado, he will go live with another family.

Brodie/Ambrose leaves in February. Off to his "Olympic training".  His graduation is August 2017

Nolan leaves in August of 2017. To either college or play hockey.

It's all planned.

The basement is rented for the summer. The job is going well. The travels for the summer are booked.

BUT

What IF?

What if something changes? What if Nolan goes away this fall. We have scouts calling.

I warned him, if he goes, the dog goes with him.

What about finishing high school?

There is online school now. There is independent study. Don't let school get in the way of an education.

Others have done this route.

My sister never finished high school. She lived in Germany for a year. Came back and got her GED. (BTW, she now has her PhD and turned out fine).

These days, you don't have to "quit" - you do things "differently" than the "norm"

We've always done things different than the norm.

What if, things don't go according to plan?

What if, this is the last summer of the DNL adventures.

The "planner" (aka Martha Stewart)  in me is going crazy.

The gypsy girl knows this will all be fine.

BUT, what if? I don't have another year?????

What if, I buy that condo in Kona?

So Go

We are going to the Olympics in Rio.

Never in a million years did I think this was something I was going to do. In fact, it had never occurred to me to go to the Olympics. I grew up poor - other people did those things.

Several years ago, (at least 4) some friends from the kids school went to the London Olympics. Heck, all my friends in Salt Lake City ended up there because they volunteered at the Salt Lake City Olympics.

Why has this never occurred to be before?

Why haven't I ever wanted to go?

I didn't know these dreams were possible.

My dreams were to graduate college.

Get married

Have a family.

Live happily ever after.

Those dreams are great. And those dreams were/are possible.

What no one ever told me:

Other dreams, are possible too.

Not greater dreams. Different dreams.

I woulda/coulda/shoulda never believed how my life has turned out.

Never in a million years, could I have hit "fast forward" and come up with this story.

You can continue to let others lead you down the path. The safe easy path.

Or you can take a chance.

'They" tell you there is danger in going.

Of course there is.

So listen.

Or go.

Just

There is a great movie you need to watch. It's billed as a "children's movie". We all know though children's movies, the good ones, are made for the parents.

The quotes. The lines.

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I LOVE this movie. It's bizarre. Perfect. Long. Boring at parts. Everything you need in a movie. Only thing it's missing is a great soundtrack.

My quote from the movie:

Molly Mahoney: i knew it. As soon as I saw that suit.

Henry Weston: Knew what?

Molly Mahoney: You're a 'just' guy.

Henry Weston: What's a 'just' guy?

Molly Mahoney: A guy just like you. Same hair, same suit, same shoes, walks around, no matter what, you think it's all just a store, it's just a bench, it's just a tree. It's just what it is, nothing more!

Henry Weston: Alright but, but this

[looks over his shoulder]

Henry Weston: is just a store.

Molly Mahoney: I'm sure to you... it is.

I'm not a "Just" person. Although lately, I've realized I use that word a lot. "I'm just going to Mexico.." Why wouldn't I say, "I'm going to Mexico."

There is no "Just" here in my life.

All these years I've fought it. I'm not a "just" person. I've tried. I so wanted to be a "just" person.

My life is bigger than that.

For years, I said the title of my book was going to be "Just Landed"

I think it should 'just' be "Landed"

And as much as I wish the ending to this story was different, it's not. Sorry, Justin (aka Peter Pan), I'm not a "just".

Truth be told, I've always "pined away" for Peter Pan. He's always known though, I'm not a "just". No matter how much we both wish we were something we are not.

Okay

***Spoiler Alert - I'm going to tell you the ending to the story.

It all turns out okay.

All of it. Any of it.

Any angst. Troubles, problems, highs, lows. In the end, it turns out okay.

While you are in it, it doesn't always seem that way, but when you look back the answer is the same.

Peter Pan was in town last week. My best girlfriend was here too.

Peter Pan and I actually met for drinks. Like real adults. He said he was nervous when he walked in. I actually wasn't. We are all good now.

The kids are good. They have been assholes for a while. Teenagers are supposed to be assholes. That way, you want them to leave.

So they do.

I get to leave too.

Or I can stay.

OR

I can do both.

I can stay and leave.

I need to go write my book now. The blogs have slowed down. The kids are all grown (almost).

Spoiler alert.

We all turn out okay.

Trying to get away

Things are always easy.

People make it look easy. But to pull off things, it takes practice. Think of your favorite play/music/performance. Those people showing up in front of you - they aren't walking on the stage/in front of the camera for the first time.

It's been rehearsed. Practiced.

I was trying to get away two weeks ago. A round trip, stand-by ticket on Southwest. Any place Southwest flies.

I was trying to go to an island - East this time. To see Peter Pan.

The flights didn't work out that day. I didn't try the next day. I just didn't go.

I should have just bought the ticket. It's been a cold, damp spring. Living with mouthy teenagers get tedious. It was 80, the day after I was supposed to leave. We had two feet of snow that Saturday.

A girlfriend of mine, said, if you can wait two weeks, I'll go with you.

Against my better judgement, I planned a different trip. 4 nights, all inclusive (airfare, food, drinks) for $600 each.

We are set to leave on Wednesday - the Thursday before (I had my passport out to write down the serial number for the ticket), my passport was on the end of the table. I remember knocking it off and was in the middle of something. Then thinking "I need to grab that so the wonder dog doesn't".

Well, you guessed it. I look out and he's chewing on my passport.

The dog gets fixed on Friday (that was planned). I went to the passport office and my passport would be ready to be picked up on Tuesday. Pick it up between 1 and 2.

To keep the timeline straight here: Thursday, damaged passport. Friday, renewed passport - dog gets fixed.

Tuesday - the day before I'm supposed to leave. The dog is chewing on my flip flops.

My youngest son comes home from school doubled over in pain. We get in the car, go to the doctor, go the passport office, go to the emergency room

Yes, in that order. No, I do not have any flip flops. I'm actually in my running shoes. Yes, the dog is with us at the hospital.

If this is appendicitis, I'm not going on my trip. But we don't know what it is yet, and if it's something as simple as your really constipated - I'm going on this trip.

6 hours later, 3 shots of morphine, it's a kidney stone.

Some friends picked up Brodie at the hospital for us. We got to go home that night.

I packed and left the next afternoon. Sending both Brodie and Nolan to his dad's.

For a couple of years, I've wanted to take a vacation that didn't involve marathons, fires, earthquakes, hurricanes. I finally got that relaxing do nothing 5 day vacation. (Although I did still work one morning).

Next step? Working on my exit strategy. Maybe one day, I'll just be able to plan, pack and go.

Ha. Not counting on that one anytime soon.

(Oh, I forgot to mention on that same Tuesday morning, the garage door wouldn't open. The spring had broken. They came out and fixed the garage door before everything else happened on Tuesday).

I've got this. I've had lots of practice...