One last time

When you pack, the first time you go through the house, you put everything out that you must take.

Then you start putting things in a pile you can give away.

The battle then becomes, what do I really want? Want to I want to give away?

When you are packing to go pack from a trip, pretty much the same thing happens.

THEN, there is the final walk through. The "what drawer did I forget to check". "What closet did I not open."

One last time. Double check.

You never know what you might have almost missed. If you didn't check. One last time.

I'm packed.

My suitcases are over-flowing. Which is really funny, as I don't think I wore any clothes this trip.

In fact, there was a whole drawer with clothes never worn this trip.

I threw away my paddling clothes. An old pair of running shoes.

Then one last walk through.

In the closet sat a pair of shoes. A pair I nearly left behind.

Shoes that didn't even enter my level of conscience.

The pair of wedges.

Those heels, I thought belonged to someone else.

I actually smiled when seeing them there. Like they belonged to someone else.

I slipped them on. My flips flops are at the door.

Summer Camp

At the start of summer, I went to summer camp.

No. I did not send my kids to summer camp. They wanted to stay home. Hang with their friends.

I told them to then, well, stay. But, I'm going.

A fine line.

Letting go. Hanging on. All at once.

Letting the kids have their freedom to live their lives. Stay with their dad. Hang with friends. See their grandparents. After all, they have spent their entire life hanging out with me.

Let them go.

They didn't want to go to camp. With or without me.

Part of me says, "They are more like their dad - not as adventurous as I am" But, that's not the truth. They are learning to be their own person.  Maybe they don't want to go to camp.

But, I'm going.

So, I went.

For five weeks.

Nolan came out for a week. Lily came out for a bit too - as she really is part of the family. As we always knew she would forever be.

The summer has been great. Every summer has been different. All with a bit of summer magic.

Once, about 3 weeks ago, I opened the other side of the closet. There was a blue suitcase and a pair of wedge platform shoes. "Hmm", I remember thinking. "I can't believe these people leave a suitcase here."

It only took me a couple of seconds. Then I smiled. I realized, that was my suitcase. Those were also my shoes.

That stuff seemed so out of place.

There was a party Saturday night for the residents of my condo complex. Tonight, after paddling this morning. Working. Spending some time at the beach. I took my bike to the property managers house. (I guess, technically, he would be the camp counselor).

Some others were sitting around. We all had a beer. He will take care of my bike. We talked about the summer. We didn't sing any camp songs. But it wouldn't have surprised me if we had.

The property manager gave me his card. He and his girlfriend leave next week for a month back on the mainland.

I told him, "When you are ready to move on, let me know. I want your job. "

I told the story of the original swap and how we ended up here. He gave me his card. "E-mail me when you get back. Let's figure out when we can do a swap. We'd love to come to Denver."

Now, I'm supposed to be packing. I'm supposed to be saying good-bye to my summer camp boyfriend. Taking the red-eye plane back to a wonderful place with wonderful people.

I've always had a thing for summer camp.

Food

Food taste different on the island.

I've had a bag of tortilla chips on my counter for a month now. Nothing about them has even seemed appealing.

Normally, on the mainland, I can't keep tortilla chips in the house. I will sit down with salsa and eat the entire bag of chips.

I LOVE chips.

A lady at canoe club and I were talking about the difference. She said it's true for her too. A couple of others piped in. All coming to the same conclusion.

We aren't sure what it is. In other hot humid areas, I would still eat chips. I've been to Myrtle Beach. The Gulf of Mexico.

Out here, food really tastes different. Romaine lettuce has a bit more crunch. I can't even begin to describe my raw fish eating habit every afternoon.

We aren't sure why.

I did break down today - with only 3 days left and bought salsa. I ate some chips with my fresh made guacamole. The guac was great. The chips only tasted "okay". And now, I actually feel a little sick to my stomach.

I've had red meat once. A hamburger that was fresh, grass-fed organic beef from Parker Ranch. It's probably the best hamburger I've ever had.

Other than that, the thought of a steak, turns my stomach. (I LOVE Steak!)

The funny thing though is - I've barely cooked.

I wonder what will happen when I get back to Denver.

I'm sure food will change once again..

Narnia

Having kids around changes everything.

Lily arrived last week. Her cousin the next day. The day after that, Nolan arrived. Duncan didn't want to come out here this summer.

Truth be told, I wasn't sure how much the kids were actually going to see each other. They all knew it might not happen.

But faith is stronger than hope.

Nolan and I were at the little beach in town. He's in the water. And looks over - the two girls are in the water splashing around.

You could hear the squeals. I'm sure you could hear the giggles on the other side of the island.

He did later say, when he noticed them, he was trying to think of a line to say when he approached:

Are you here often?
Funny running into you.
What are YOU doing here?

Of course, you think of these things later. He finally just swam up and said "hey".  You could then really hear the squeals on the other side of the island.

I happen to catch the moment - it truly was beautiful. As next thing I know, I have two teenage girls waving to me. Then running to give me wet hugs.

My island time then turns into, well, still my time, but more as a visitor and doing things rather than doing nothing.

I didn't realize how much "nothing" I had been doing lately.

We had a great week. The girls went to the North end of the island today. Nolan left on his flight back to Denver.

We were talking about how "this is the end". The end of childhood life on the island.

Nolan tells me, "You don't know that".

But, I do. As there are many things for the kids to go and do and see in their lives. This visit to Narnia time is over.

I think they know it too. When we drove by the old house, up the back road, Nolan told me it wasn't really weird to see the house.

He was thinking of all the memories driving to and from the house. The sitting in the back of the truck. The silly stories on the way there. The friendships. The chickens and tons of other stories from their time in Kona.

So tonight, I dropped him at the airport. Kicking him out of "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" story. Back into his other story. Back into his life.

He said, "As much as I'm ready to be home, I am sad to leave".

I told him, "That's when you are supposed to leave. When you aren't quite ready."

I was worried I would be wanting to leave with him. I was sad to see him go. Happy he has the memories and moments of his childhood.

Stepping out of The Wardrobe, back into the other life.

My time in Narnia isn't over. Staying was the absolute best decision I've made in a while.

Parallel Universe

Believe it or not, I was just thinking of the things I like about Denver.

Things I like about my grown-up life.

I love my house. My friends. My community. The dryness of the Colorado air.

There are good things there.

Then, I went to the grocery store this morning. You have to just love beach towns. You can buy anything from fishing wire to birthday cakes to salad stuff to well, clothes.

I ran into a lady from canoe club. The lady whom lives up the street from our old summer house. The one whom invited me to canoe club in the first place. I always buy coffee from her for my clients. Her cousin was the one whom always went with us paddling a couple of summers ago.

We stopped to talk for a minute. I then walk off.

As I am walking away, I hear my name called. I turned back around.

She just wanted to let me know what a joy it has been having me around. And thanked me.

I was determined not to cry in the middle of the grocery store. I was determined that I really do miss my other life.

But my parallel universe doesn't leave me crying in the middle of the store.

Decisions

We make decisions everyday.

All of us. Every single moment.

What I don't understand is how did society program us to think that when we make a decision, we can never change our mind. This is it. Forever.

Is it marriage?

Is it that society has told us when we get married, this is FOREVER. Therefore, any other decision we make, well, must hold that much power and weight.

Is it from the previous generation? Take a job. Work there for forty years. Retire.

Maybe we have too many choices these days. Maybe we don't take things seriously enough.

BUT

We also over-think things.

Nolan and I went para sailing yesterday. He had never been.

We ended up being the only people on the boat. With a crew of two.

Then another guy jumped on board - he runs captain on the other boat. The "captain" of our boat introduces himself as "Scramble".

Neither Nolan nor myself even blinked. Nor did we ask why his name was Scramble. We both just said, "Nice to meet you." Dani was the girl on the boat helping us get into our gear. We were supposed to be in the air for 16 minutes total. We were in the air for about 30.

They "raised" us and "lowered" us several times. The last time, letting our feet touch the water before "popping" us back up.

When you live out here, you get discounts on tourist stuff. You also do tourist stuff only once or twice per trip - unless, of course, it's your first summer and you didn't know it was going to be a new way of life....... I digress.

Scramble came over from Maui for the summer. Originally, he had grown up in Washington and had been in Maui about 10 years. Or maybe it was 15. Maybe it was 20.

The numbers didn't really seem to matter.

He was trying to decide if he should stay. The guy whom runs the company wants him to stay. He told us, "I have to make a big decision."

"No, you don't", I replied.

"What do you mean?"

"So, stay.", I said. "We seem to think when we finally do make a decision - that's it. That's forever. We can never change our mind."

"So, stay" or "Don't stay". You don't have to do this for the rest of your life. Our life is full of choices.

If you make a wrong one - at some point, say "I'm now making a new decision."

Then do.

Or even if it's not the wrong decision. It's okay, to then say, "Now, I'm making a new decision."

Then do.

Tourist Town

Everyone should live in a tourist town - at least once.

I know this is a generalization, and some people would really hate it, but it gives you an interesting perspective of the world.

• Visitors act "entitled" - granted this town relies on tourism dollars. There is just no need to remind the locals of this. Act as you would at home.
• You get to meet people from all over the world. 
• I've meet a couple whom lives in Singapore - she is Brazilian, he is German
• An English woman whom was also vacationing alone (I'm not the only one whom travels alone!)
• Tons of Californians
• A couple from Fiji
• Live like a local  - see what the locals are doing and join them. You might learn a new hobby.
• The other day a group of locals were walking with paddles, away from an evening paddle group. They had a smile from ear to ear. I know that feeling. When you see it, ask if you can join next time. (although, this would have me paddling twice a day!) 
• Offer to take visitors pictures. Someone always gets left out of the picture. Usually it's the mom. They get a picture with their whole group. And you, the picture taker might actually make some new friends.

Try it once.