Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Opposing Team's Game Plan

What would you do if you knew what your "competition" was about to do?

Would you try to "one up them"? (Do something better than what they were planning?)

Would you do the same thing they were planning on doing? Only try and do it better?

Maybe it's always been this way. Maybe the last generation thought the same thought - just applied to different situations.

I'm talking today about the gender/race equality/inequality.

Years from now, the above statement will have a few more "/" marks. A few years ago it might have just been gender equality/inequality.

I don't know. That wasn't "my" generation.

I'm female. I was also born in a time where I could grow up to be anything I wanted to be. I was never told "girls don't do that". Actually, I probably was, it was more said like "that's not very ladylike".

It's been great. Sorta. Except now we are all expected to do it all.

Whatever happened to roles? You know - you do this, I'll do that? Making a team. You pay defense, I'll play offense for the sports enthusiast out there. I'll do my part. You do yours.

Now, I would still define "my generation" as the transitional generation.

Our parents changed the "rules" of society.

I'm all about change. Sorta.

But, if you are going to change the rules. Make them public. Then move forward.

Recently, I was talking to this woman whom thought the guy at the other end of the room was very handsome. We spoke for a bit. Then she had to leave.

I went to give him her number. As it's always easier to do things for other people. No risk of self humiliation.

He asked why she didn't come over herself. She is attractive, but I'm not calling someone whom wouldn't even come introduce herself to me.

All I could think was:

  • All those years of thinking someone didn't like me - they liked me, they just weren't brave
  • Oh, so, you are shy too
  • Someone told you, if HE doesn't make the move. He's not that in to you.
  • Wow - and all these years I was thinking they weren't attracted to me - turns out, I was braver than them.
I have two teenage boys. "They" tell us, the girls today are more aggressive. "The girls" go after who and what they want."

Listen boys, they told us girls the same thing years ago.

They are all lying.

I've been a teen-age girl. I have teen-age boys. It will work. It won't work. 

By that, I mean, what works for you. Don't look at the other teams "plans" - they could be fake ones.You could play for a different team. A team that hasn't even been born yet. By team, I mean idea. Maybe it's a different sport. Maybe, you are creating your own rules.

In fact, you could come up with a plan better than theirs. Just tell someone else your plan. There is much to be said for telling everyone aka the other team - your plan.

Trust me on this one.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Human Doings

Life is a funny thing.

There are times we are sooooo busy, we can't even see straight. There is SO much to do. Places we have to be, people we need to see.

Work is busy. Kids (if you have them) are busy. You are busy taking care of what your kids NEED to do. The house is dirty. There is laundry to be done. You are busy taking care of what other people need (family, friends, etc).

Then we come up with the idea we need to do "other" things. Other goals. Or maybe even "I need to clean out my office"

For months, maybe even now years, I've not been motivated to organize my house or my office. I simply don't want to.

I don't want to do a lot of things. We are then told this is depression.

In a way, I agree. Although, how I really agree is that we have been "trained" or "taught" if we aren't "doing" something, well, then something must be wrong.

What ever happened to laying on the couch to watch a movie in the middle of the day? No, I don't mean folding the laundry while on the couch. I simply mean "BEING". Enjoying the movie.

The boys and I watched a movie the other night. It was 6 pm.

I'm known for falling asleep during movies. This one I stayed awake for the whole movie.As usually, when I do lay down on the couch, I'm tired. I've been DOING things all day. This time, it was early enough. Plus the soundtrack was great. PLUS, it was a great movie with an incredible soundtrack.

(The movie was Rudderless - As Nolan would say at the end, "It was a good find".) An Indie film loaded with famous people. I don't think it's up for any awards, but it's worth a watch. Hey, if I stayed awake, it's worth a watch. :-)

What happened to being able to sit and enjoy something? You know, like have a conversation? Watch a movie? Go for a bike ride. Oops - there is the problem.

We thing we have to be "doing" something.

If I'm not "doing something", I feel guilty. First I feel like I'm missing something. Then I think I'm wasting time.

When I go to the beach, I read my book, I swim and I read again. Then sometimes, I just sit and watch the beauty of the ocean.

Sometimes, I lay on the couch and watch a movie.

Sometimes, I sit on my front porch and watch the sunset.

Sometimes, I go to a yoga class and stretch and breath and listen.

I'm a human being. Not a human doing.......

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Bobby G

I lost another friend over the holidays. With this one this story is a little bit more complicated. As we were more acquaintances than friends, but he holds a special place.

A little about me - well, I've realized I'm really good at writing about people whom mean something to me. I'm even better when I'm writing about something/someone that/whom touched my heart.

But, this isn't about me.

It's about Bobby G.

About 10 years, I had a good male friend named Ernest. While Ernest is a pain in the arse, I've met a lot of good people through him. Ernest had some good friends whom live in Vail.

Vail is one of my most favorite places on earth. Yes, I can still stay that.

For reason or another, a girlfriend and I were headed to Vail for the weekend. We didn't know where we were staying. Ernest called one of his friends. His friend called another friend. The other friend said, "sure, there is extra room at our house. Your friend and her friend can come stay for the weekend."

I love people like this.

No, I don't know you. I don't know your friend, But, if you are friends with my friends, well, then it will all be okay.

It was a wonderful day. The skiing was awesome. Bobby G and a friend of his met my girlfriend and I at the bottom of the ski runs. Here are four people whom don't know each other spending a day together.

Turns out my friend Ernest grew up with Bobby's wife. This turned out to be the first of many ski days all together. All of us.

Bobby could be a bit ornery. Although I've noticed, I tend to like that personality type.

Very A type personality. #4 in to a company that made it quite big. I forget what his title was, but he lived between Vail and Connecticut - the company headquarters were in Miami. It took his assistant years to figure out he didn't live there.

He could be difficult. My guys friends thought he was "too driven". Couldn't let things ago. But for some reason, everyone knew, we got along just fine. The thing is, we were authentic.

We could go years without seeing each other and he always remembered who I was.

You see, one day when a group of us were skiing together, we went down a run that was too hard for me. I had NO BUSINESS being on that ski run. I told the guys to go ahead. I'd meet them at the lodge.

They all went. Truly, I was fine.

I ended up in snow powder up to my waist. Trees all around me. Not knowing which way was up from down. Not a lift in site.

Out of nowhere, some skier appeared next to me and got me back to the trail. When we hit the trail, Bobby G was standing there.

Turning around, my little snow angel was gone. Bobby and I took the lift to the top. We all skied the rest of the day on what was one of my most favorite "white out" days ever (Meaning you couldn't see past the person next to you).

Another angel watching me.
Save me a spot in the lift lines.
See ya on the backside of Vail.

Rest in Peace Bobby G.......

Thursday, January 15, 2015


Facebook has a capability where you can block people. Block them from seeing anything about you. Even block them from knowing you have a Facebook profile.

I've been blocked before. I even have a couple of people blocked. Blocking is not "un-friending" them - if you "un-friend" someone, they can still see your information. Blocking, it's like you don't even exist. Neither does the other person.

That is kind of a nice thing. The person doesn't know you've blocked them, of course, unless you were "friends" with them before. And all your other friends are still "friends" with them. Well, then you know. Well, you know everyone is acting like a 14 year old.

The people I block? The creepy guy whom sends me weird "Can we be friends e-mails on Facebook" whom I've never met. A good friends ex-husband whom would say stuff to her about things we were doing - not being able to get his ego out of the way and realize we don't talk about him. I don't have any ex's blocked. Or in fact, I don't even think I have blocked old boyfriends new girlfriends. If they want to know about my life - well, most of them read this blog. ;-) Otherwise, just hide them.

And really, there are no secrets any more. Everything is pretty much out there. Or most of it anyway.

I'm talking about a different kind of blocking.

In the guy world it's called "a cock block". The "intentional or unintentional of action of preventing the opposite sex from being with another friend". In other words, "I'm not sure if I want to be with you, but I don't want you liking anyone else".

Girls do it to. Block their friends from moving in on their guy friends. I'd like to think it's a protection type of thing versus a jealousy thing. We don't want our friends (either the guy or the girl) to get hurt.

For the past 5 months or so, I've had this crush on Denver's most eligible bachelor. We met in September and have run into each other several times since then. We are now at the point, where he will wave to me when he sees me. Once, he was even on a date (As he stopped by to ask me how my sons teams were doing, we chatted and I told him he looked bored on his date) ;-)  Yes, only I would actually say this out loud to him. And, I've actually figured out a couple of mutual friends.  (Patience my friend, we are slowly getting there)

One of these so called mutual friends is a friend with "The Coach" (as we call him).  My running buddy gave me 6 tickets to the playoff game for the Denver Broncos.  Here is a PERFECT opportunity.

I text my guy friend and say "Hey, do you and Coach want to go the Broncos game on Sunday?"  These are great seats. As in, yes, it's okay to ask this person to this game.  (You could smell the grass on the field).

He replies, "I can't go.". Okay, I reply, well then, will you send coach my number (I'm not asking for his) and see if he wants to go.

His reply:  Ha ha. He has a game Saturday, I don't want to bother him.

I couldn't even see straight. Seriously? Yes, I understand how we all want to keep our friendship sacred, but really?

So I took the boys and their friends and a girlfriend of mine all to the game. It was a cold. We lost. It was fun time. Duncan even brought a date.

But one day, when I'm telling the coach how he was "blocked" from going to the game, I know I'll be the one smiling.

Thursday, January 8, 2015


How do you tell a story from the beginning, yet not make it drag on. Yet, make the reader want to know more.

Do you start at the beginning? Or the end?  Or the middle? Or maybe, it's not really the middle or the end, it's the present?

How do you start?

You start at a wedding at the end of the year. With a group of people you love. A group of people that love you.

This is how love looks. Not the Hollywood version, but the real world version. Only, we were in Hollywood. So, I guess we did get the Hollywood version of this story.....

The trip to Los Angeles was a surprise to both the both the boys. When they walked in from their dads there were suitcases and plane tickets waiting. For a moment, they did wonder if it was Hawaii.

There were new suitcases. A piece of paper on the top of each bag.

Where are we going? I don't know. Open the envelope.


My sons "uncle" picked us up. With his "bride to be". (Only the boys thought this was his girlfriend). Her daughter too - she is 10.

I do love his girlfriend. She's good for him. They are good for each other.

Besides, how many times can you say you were at a former boy/girl friends wedding?

At this point, I knew, but the boys didn't.  Well, they knew about the trip (obviously), but they still didn't know about the wedding.

Long story short. I woke the boys up Sunday morning in Southern California by saying their Uncle wasn't haven't a football party that day. "Why?" "What happened?"

Oh, there's still a party.

Only it's a wedding.

I love priceless.

I wanna go

I like to "go".

Go in the essence of where ever you want me to go. Where ever you are going, I want to go to. Even if you don't want to go, I will.

I'm all about the experience. The journey. Sometimes even the destination. (that was a joke - the destination part, I'm all about it all)

Going. Doing.

I've also learned to stay home. Cozy. Warm. Safe. Staying put has something that has taken me a long time to learn. But I'm also comfortable staying.

I've lived in the same house for ten years now. A record in my life. The first time ever I've lived in one place for ten years. (Although I do wonder if it counts because I don't stay here in the summer - but I'm thinking yes)

Where I am starting to have trouble?  When my boys want to go do something. Anything. Lunch with their friends. Hanging out with MY friends in California. Trips. Activities.

Tonight, a friend of Duncan's gave them two tickets to the pro hockey team (Avalanche) game here in town. We had dinner at 5:00pm. They put on their Avalanche jerseys, had dinner, drove to the light rail, rode the train downtown, went to the game - all WITHOUT me.

Now I know, most moms would be more worried about them doing all those things as teenagers without an adult. Not me.

They have been riding the light rail their whole life. Then when they got to high school, instead of school buses, the district gives them a city bus pass and they rode the city bus to/from school (until one started to drive). They are city kids. They have also been going to Avalanche games their whole lives too.  They know how to do all this.

Unfortunately, the good/bad thing is, they know how to do this without me.

I'm proud.

I'm jealous.

I wanna go too.......

Monday, January 5, 2015


Happy New Year.

Not sure what it means, when I start the year already behind. Someone asked me today if I set goals for this year?

This year? Are you kidding? I'm not sure I even know where my to-do list is at moment, much less my "goals", but I do know, I have to get it done.

If not, I won't get any THING accomplished!

Back to writing more is one goal.

Okay, now I've started my goals......