Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Our Age

Almost a year ago, I started dating someone. He lives in Austin. I live in Denver/Kona. It works for us. So far

He came to visit Kona for a week.

He's still getting used to my "gypsy way" of life. Although, he has a bit of it himself. Only he doesn't have a bitter ex-girlfriend whom doesn't understand we all want to friends. Life is simple out here.

He's not a morning person. Which is fine - we all have different "time schedules". Only paddling is at 6:30am. We have to leave the house at 6. Which for me is waking up at 5:45.

Sunrise to Sunset - that's my schedule. Only I have to be up at 3:45 to "start my day"

He paddled with me three days a week. Knowing that someone whom is NOT a morning person, gets up that early, well, that must be some kinda love.....

We paddle. He loves it - or at least tells me he loves it.

We are on a boat - with another fellow Aggie - whom was in school at the same time as me. He works mainland time. He's learned to play the game. Only he's two years older than me.

The guy I'm dating - he states later - you were the youngest one on the boat.

I reply

"I've been the youngest one on the boat for the last 6 years - except for guests"

Hmmm, "Well, where are the people our age?"

"Do they forget about paddling?"
"Do they get lazy?"

Nah, I replied - although I know plenty of lazy people whom don't come to canoe club.....

"They haven't figured out the whole work/life balance"

"They are at work."



Monday, June 19, 2017

My right arm

Paddling helps me breathe.

Not sure if Paddling helps Gypsy. Or The Hockey Mom/Career Woman and/or any of the other personalities whom make me me.

Even if I think I don't want to go, when I'm on the water, I never regret the decision.

Tomorrow, there was a MANDATORY conference call set for the middle of paddling. HOW DARE THEY?

Doesn't work know??? Paddling fills my soul.

I blocked out the time on my calendar for the whole month. Maybe I have the time wrong? Maybe I can still make paddling.

I checked. Checked again.

Nearly faked a doctors appointment - because somehow a meeting with a shrink might be excused, but no one quite understands a meeting with mother nature.

Then, the grown up in me came to terms with the fact that I can miss ONE day of paddling.

You would have thought they had asked me to amputate my arm.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Grammy

There is another story to write before this one, but this one, well, gets first place.

I had a friend I've been dating for awhile here for a week. He left last night. I stayed in. I was exhausted. Emotional. Among other feelings.

It was a great week we had together. Ohana and new places. I came home from the airport and went to bed.

Today, I kept trying to fit a million things into my day of "recovery". You know, the day that sucks, but you must go on and figure out how to make it through the day.

I went to Majics. I went to the pier. I walked. Then I walked some more. I was angry. Sad. I swam. I ran. I yelled. I got excited about the teenagers coming to the island.

THEN,

I went to Huggo's.

This little resturant on the beach. I met a new friend. She has been married for 17 years - she can't decide to leave her husband or not. She can't decide some other things too. She's finishing up law school. We talk about chances. We talk about missing the chances we don't take.

There was a group at the end of the bar. Turns out my new friend is in love with the singer.

Oh, that's why you needed to sit next to me. You have been married for a very long time, but the love of your life is sitting on stage.......

Gyspsy girl says to her new friend,

Let's go dance. Grammy - there. In the sweater and long pants is dying to dance.

Grammy tells us she is 84. I told her the story of my Granny coming to Kona with me. Of her being 84 and traveling all this way.

Grammy danced. Danced with me. My new friend. Our 88 old friend on the deck.

She danced.

It was all of 7:30 when I left (after all - the sun had set).

A truck, going the other way, hollered "Do you need a ride"

"No thank you, I'm almost there."

I keep walking.

A few minutes later.....

Grammy would have none of that.

They gave me a ride home.

I told her granddaughter, if Grammy is not an  "internet sensation" when I wake up in the morning, please let me know......



Saturday, June 10, 2017

May I invite a friend?

While I am by myself here at "summer camp", sometimes other people get invites.

Nolan came a couple of years ago - I told him he could invite a friend. Evidently, I didn't say it in a manner (or enough times) for him to realize he could have asked someone to come with him.

Pretty much every year, we have also met up with friends from Denver while in Kona. It's a small world, but a Big Island.

This year, a family arrives on July 4th whom their son has played hockey with the boys for years. We are all meeting for fireworks after their plane lands.

Duncan is coming this year. Lily is too. So is her cousin. Her cousin might be bringing a friend.

Duncan asks if he can bring a friend. Sure, but this place is smaller and we will have to get an airbed or a float for him to sleep on.

"Mom, would you mind if Jack comes?"

"No, that's a not a problem at all."

Great. We are all set.

Duncan and Jack here. Lily, her cousin and her friend at Lily's dad's house - not sure if the girlfriend will be there or not - as she told me years ago, she didn't really want to hang out with kids. So their house will be full and so will ours as the teenagers will want to spend lots of time together. (Good thing they are now all old enough to walk to the beach without adults).

"Hey mom, would you mind if "Butters" came too?"

"He's already coming with his family??"

"He can come in a couple days early, then meet up with them on the 4th."

That's fine. It will be tight, but we will manage.

"Mom, Max wants to come too"; "So does Dom" His parents work for United, Max and Dom can fly out for free.

"We are outta space"

"They don't care, we aren't at the place much anyway."

"What about Jack?" "Oh, he can't come now. He didn't save his money."

Okay, so what is count now? Including you? We are at 4.

The text I receive today (I'm already out here!!): Call me please.

"Okay, I promise this is the last one - can Avi come too???""

DUNCAN, there is no room. I can't afford to feed all these kids.

MOM, I have it taken care of. We will all sleep on air floats, bring sleeping bags and each kid has to have their own meal money PLUS give you $50 each to go to the grocery store for the week.

How can I say no to that?

My son planning something I actually love - the chaos of it all. Something I've been missing and will miss terribly in the fall......

I always did want to run a summer camp.

I have a feeling this summer is not going to be like the one when they were 13......

Friday, June 9, 2017

Emotions

Emotions and grief are strange "bedfellows"

bed·fel·low
ˈbedˌfelō/
noun
plural noun: bedfellows
  1. a person who shares a bed with another.
    • a person or thing allied or closely connected with another.
      "the treaty will make strange bedfellows of a number of enemies"

A term I remember from some independent film I watched. But then what is life, but made up of emotions???

I guess grief is an emotion. We have no control over our emotions. We can learn how to manage the emotions, deal with them, ignore them.

Yesterday, at my favorite restaurant/bar in the whole world. Overlooking the Pacific Ocean, live music flowing in the background. People you know, yet, don't know at all.

Suddenly, I'm sitting watching the sunset. Crying like a baby. Crying because I'm SOOOO lucky. I'm still SOOO sad for my friends who lost their sons. Sad and Happy all at the exact moment for my kids and the new adventures in which they will soon embark. Happy that I have figured out how to work my life - work and play all at the same moment. SOOO happy that when I wake up in the morning, I get to go paddle.

The lady two seats down finally asked if I was okay.

I nodded. Through the tears, I explained I needed a second. But I wasn't sure if I would ever make it back here.

Then explained my last year. (she might be sorry she asked :-)) Her husband passed 13 years ago. They were married for 45 years. She moved out in January to be close to her daughter, as well, it was time to make a change. Her daughter is my age. I might even have someone I can set her up with..... Hmmmm.....

I invited her to canoe club. She's not done it before. She's excited to try a new thing.

But I had to make an agreement: If she goes to canoe club, I have to go swim laps on the off days with her - and I have to pass the 5th buoy.

After all, I will have a buddy. (As you shouldn't swim by yourself)

Emotions connect all sorts of people.





Thursday, June 8, 2017

When did you get back?

I landed in Kona yesterday.

Ready to go. A "hot mess" is the phrase they use these days.

I wanted to "relax". But there were errands to do. Unpack. Get settled.

Let Gypsy girl come out.

And she did.....

I walked into Huggo's - a bar in town that is right on the sand.

There is a lady sitting at the corner of the bar. Swear to you, two years ago, that is where she was sitting when I left.

There are several locals. A place where it seemed a time warp had occured.

Dj (the lady at the corner) says to me, "Do you know Dennis? He's the bartender."

Dennis looks up and says to me, "When did you get back?"

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

We've missed each other

Dear Gypsy,

There is SO much to tell. I left you on this island two years ago. You said you weren't going back with me,

I let you stay.

I let you know it was okay.

I also was told no matter what I thought/did/felt, you weren't coming back.

Maybe one of the hardest things about parenting. My opinion was "nice", but not needed.

Oh how so much has changed since I last left you. Tons that make me happy. Tons that have hardened my heart in a way that will never heal. But, you, might sweet girl, might just understand.

I needed you. And, sadly for me, you didn't quite need me in the way I needed you. That actually makes me happy.

What kind of mom would I be if I couldn't let my Gypsy Soul go fly like she should?

I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.

Thanks for the HUGE welcome home today. I didn't realize how much I had missed you.

I landed on the island. One of your Craigslist friends rented me their car for the summer. They picked me up. I had to drop them off.

It took me hours to realize all we had of each other was a phone number. No insurance. No id's. Two people trading cash for a car. I'm trusting you to believe this car isn't stolen.

I guess, they are trusting you, everything is going to be okay.

I wanted the beach. I wanted shit done. I wanted to be back in a moment that no longer exists.

They weren't the best summers of the boys lives. They were the best summers of my life.

You looked at me, with those big blues eyes and said:

Mama, have you learned nothing over the years?
We will be there shortly. Patience is a virtue.

Oh, Gypsy Girl, I've missed you....



Thursday, June 1, 2017

Scheduling

Today, Thursday, June 1, 2017, I was on a conference call.

A conference call with a client "hiring manager". The roles have been very difficult to fill. In over a year, this group has not hired one person.

In the last two months, we've hired two people.

The team is finally in our groove. Making things happen.

We have 6 new positions opening up, for different departments, but the same person is going to be in charge.

DAMN.

I thought we were almost there.  A "reprieve" so to speak.

The hiring manager says to me today, "Arrange a call for us to speak next week to discuss the requirements of the new positions."

Last week my youngest son graduated from high school. I hosted a party at my house. Tons of out of town company. A way over scheduled - and committed to things I couldn't keep, couple of weeks.

The house is almost ready to go for the summer. I'm running out of daylight. A phrase I have loved for years.

In corporate America, you can look and see when someone has things blocked out on their schedule. You know what works with yours, and if they are blocked out or have time available.

It sounds pretty complex, but does make life much easier. Let me look at your calendar.

SO, I look......

Well, he has some time on Mon & Tues, but I'm in California those days and I'm not quite sure what we will be doing yet. I want to work, but make sure it's early so we have the day free.

I can't do Wednesday as I'm traveling that day.

Thursday looks good - Oh, he has some time too.

BUT WAIT!!!!! I can't do Thursday morning - BECAUSE, I WILL BE AT CANOE CLUB!!

There have been many happy moments these last few weeks. As in the happiest moments in a year.

BUT, this one was my favorite.

Good thing there was some time available Thursday afternoon. No one has to know I'll have my swimsuit on......