Don't tell anyone

I started a new contract position for recruiting last week.

Sorta an employee, just no benefits. Hourly rates.

And the most honest, breath-relasing moment was the thought that popped in my head.

Ah, this feels really, really nice.

The last few months of my life have provided tons of sadness and anxiety. I do want to write more about moments these last few months - but we have been in survival mode around here.

But this.

This "job"

This " guy I've been dating"

This "backbone I always knew I had"

This "backbone of community I knew was here"

Have given me a whole new perspective on life. In life.

Shh..... don't tell anyone. I haven't slept in months. I've gained some stress weight. And I've worked my whole life to be right here.

Shh.... this is where you find out what you are really made of.

Don't tell anyone, but now that I'm here. I always knew I was this capable.  

 

Growing Up

When you sign in for security on a website - one of the security questions is:

What street did you grow up on?

I have an easy answer. I lived on the same street for quite a bit while I was in elementary school. That street is the one I usually name.

Although, I've been thinking a lot about this question lately.

If Peter Pan and I were ever asked how we knew each other, I would always reply:

We grew up together

Only, in "practical" terms, I didn't meet him until I was 32. But if you were to ask me today, I would still give you the same answer. "We grew up together."

The street I live on now - I've lived here for longer than I've ever lived any other time in my life. I do wonder what military family kids think of "as the street they grew up on"

I was raised thinking that "grew up on" meant "the longest time you spent in a place".

I've realized "growing up" has nothing to do with age. Or how long you have been in one place.

It has to do with how much you grew. And where you grew.

I may have been raised in Texas, but I grew up here.

No words

There have been no posts lately. As there have been no words.

Last Sunday, August 28, 2016 there was another death in our little bubble of a community.

Something no one saw coming.

Suicide.

An 18 year old family friend. Friend of Duncan's. We are friends with the family. As in, a friends family we were all supposed to be in Rhode Island with for Labor Day. Wait - the kids weren't going - just us adults.

There are no words for the heartbreak our neighborhood has been hit with these last two months.

There were some okay moments during all of this. Moments that and will continue to make us smile.

The words will come again. I do still have some wonderful Olympic stories to share.

But for now, there are no words.....

Hey Media

I don't like telling other people what to do.

As I don't like being told what to do.

But, I can't hold this one in. I think this is how my letter would read:

Dear Network Providers:

Thank you for the great coverage of the Olympics. HOWEVER, you owe RIO a HUGE apology.

We didn't even SEE a mosquito, much less worry about the Zika virus. 

Having been to the Olympics, it would be a "hard thing" for ANY city to pull off. Much less a city in an under-developed country with NO infrastructure.

People kept posting stories about all the bad things going on in Rio.

Let me tell you something:

RIO - you were a class act. From the people to the food to the transportation. If I was from Brazil, I'd be proud. 

I'm proud as an American. 

Rio, you didn't pretend to know English. You only marked things up moderately - you could have raised the prices much higher.

It was beautiful. 

ALL of it. 

Hey Media, you should apologize. You called this one wrong.....

 

Taking your time

When you are getting ready to go on a trip, there are tons of "last minute" details.

Things you THINK you have accomplished, but are still missing a few pieces. I needed to get these things done:

• Pick up snacks for the plane
• Return a dress to Nordstrom Rack
• Wash clothes
• Clean the bathroom (don't want to come home to a dirty house!)
• Notify the bank/credit card companies we will be traveling
• Let the cell phone company know you are traveling too

We are packing. Cleaning. Washing clothes. Doing the things we always do before a trip.

I mentioned to my oldest, we need to go to the bank and get some temporary debit cards. The bank will give you temporary cards and a "travel" account. That way, if you lose a card, they only have access to a certain amount of money. PLUS, you have a couple of cards that will only work with PIN numbers.

It was a beautiful day.

He says, "It's so pretty. Can we ride our bikes?"

I think I choked.

This kid has only grunted at me between the times of being really sweet. He wants to go on a bike ride with me???

Of course we can ride our bikes to the bank! Make sure they have air in the tires!!

Then he replies,

Well first, I need to make sure I can find my helmet.

This from the young man whom hasn't worn his helmet on his bike in years.

We put on our helmets. We got on our bikes and went and got our temporary debit cards.

This wasn't last minute. We didn't rush.

We took our time. We enjoyed our ride.

Greater than I

There is a quote, we all "misquote". The rendition of the quote I know is,

I think most of us know this quote.

While at the memorial service for Cole last week, Father Patrick brought this quote into his sermon.

This a Catholic Priest. I'm paraphrasing here, but, what I remember him saying:

People misuse this quote (after he had said the quote). Then he says, it's not true. If God were NOT to give you something you can't handle - there would be no suicides. God gives me things everyday I can't handle.

Father Patrick then continues on:

He may give ME something I can't handle. BUT, he won't give US - the community, this group of people, etc. Something WE can't handle.

Father Patrick had another great story relating a biblical tale to us the next day at the Mass funeral service.

Cole was here to remind us there are things greater than I.

Community

com·mu·ni·ty

kəˈmyo͞onədē/

noun

1. 1.

   a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

   "Rhode Island's Japanese community"

   synonyms:

   group, body, set, circle, clique, faction;
2. 2.

   a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

   "the sense of community"

I'm all about community. Always have been. Always will be.

I've said for years, it's my "tribe" who has gotten me through my life. I wouldn't be where I am today, without the community who helped get me here.

One group, got me to the next.

I've known for years, my neighborhood has been special. Sometimes almost too much.

In my group, you know each other well - you are not in everyone's business. You are though in everyone's life.

The school (Slavens) my kids attended is a neighborhood school. K-8. Public School. Only 50 kids PER GRADE. I've often referred to it as the "public/private school". You find your tribe. I found mine.

Or rather,

The tribe found me.

This has been a harrowing week in the community. A loss that hit way too close too home. Every time I've said or written that statement, I've had to retract it. This one didn't hit CLOSE to home.

It HIT home.

And, you know what - if this had been my own - instead of "one of my own", I could think of no better group of people to take care of me.

Watch out Denver, we are about to "go all Slavens on you."