A ride like no other

I love amusement parks. Every.Single.Thing. About them.

They are a true testament of our culture. My analogy here today is going to be why amusement parks are like life.  Or maybe how we think our life should be, but it isn't.

1)  Everything is over-priced.  From the ticket to get in to the drinks to the t-shirts to the food.  It seems ridiculous to spend that type of money on a one day activity.  Maybe if it's a special treat, but not something you can do all the time.

BUT, entertainment comes at a price.  If you want something/someone to entertain you, you should pay for it.  After all, we all are in business to make money.

2)  The lines are long to get to ride the good rides.  Everyone else wants to ride the good ride too.  Whom can blame them, the good rides are fun.

Getting what you want takes patience.  In the rest of life, we usually give up, just before we get something we have been waiting for.  If all these other people are waiting, shouldn't we wait too?  (That's not usually the case).

3)   The ride is over really fast.  The anticipation has been great.  Then suddenly you are back in the real world.

There are all these things we want in life:  to get married, to buy a house, to travel, to have kids (or not), to have a career, to...... (name your moment) - then it's over before you know it.  You get one/all/some/none of those things, then you are to the next phase.  

4)  The "rush" lasts a really long time.  The adrenaline high you get from riding the ride, lets you enjoy the moment for a while.  (Now we understand why there are drug addicts in this world).

The endorphins keep going.  You accomplish goals.  It's satisfying and makes you understand why you keep doing #1,2,3 over and over again.  For all of it.  We continue to go stand in line. 

My youngest son and I went to the local amusement park on Sunday.  He had a season pass - and a coupon for a discount ticket.  He finally agreed I could go with him (as I know it's not cool to hang out with your mom, but I truly do love roller coasters).

We don't go until late in the day after his hockey practice.  My favorite ride was not working when we got there.  I was bummed.  We went to another ride.

The wait was FOREVER.  (What, am I 14??).  We finally got on the ride.  It was fun, but really, I can't even tell you the name of the ride. Just as we were about to get on - in the last (BEST) seat, these two kids come get in our seats.  I'm like "What the heck???" The girl working the ride said, "They must have had an Exit Pass or something".  "Huh?".  I don't even ask.  We just wait another round.  Sometimes you get bumped in life.

We then go, to the "BrainDrain" - it's basically a circle, that you go forward, then backwards.  Then forward - just a little bit further, then backwards, then round and round and round.  Both forward and backwards.

We stood in line for what seems like forever.  We are getting on the ride. As we are sitting down, they close the park for the bigger rides; Lighting was spotted within 10 minutes of the park.

Seriously?  All that time - now it was wasted.

We were told we could stand there and wait.

Yes, you can stand there and wait in life.  And what you always wanted will open up for you.

OR

You can ask for an "Exit Pass"

Still unsure of what an "Exit Pass" was, I asked for one.  I guess it is for situations like this, when there is a delay, beyond their control - and you can come back, and skip the line - you just get to get on the ride.

We got an Exit Pass - it was good for 4 people.  There were only two of us.

We nearly left the park.  (It's easy to quit)

Instead, my dear teenage son rode the swings with me. We ate corny dogs, then the big rides were open again.  (Patience - or distractions in life once again).

Technically, when you are given an Exit Pass, it's only good for the ride you didn't get to ride. That makes sense.  It's a do-over.  We all deserve those.

Our conversation:

"Let's do this.  What ride do you really want to ride? I said to my son.  "The Twister".  "I really want to ride the "Mind Eraser", and well, we have to ride the "Brian Drain" - as that is where we were able to get the Exit Pass."  

We will start at the Mind Eraser, as that is the #1 ride and use our pass.  We will then go to the Twister - as that line won't be so long.  Then if the park is still open, we will do the Brain Drain.

We go to the Mind Eraser - as I said, my favorite all time ride.  You sit there, but there are no sides - no front.  I guess you kind of hang there.  Only when you go through the exit, well, you get to pick your seat.  We rode first seat.  She didn't take our pass.

From there we go to the Twister - through the Exit once again.  This time we hand over our pass. The teenager looks at the ticket and says "This is for four people". "There are only two of us", I reply. She says, "Well, use it for one more ride".  And hands it back to us.  (there are breaks in life)

We go back to the BrainDrain.  They take our pass this time. It's okay - it was over due.  In fact, we had said, if we don't have to give it up this time, we need to pay it forward to some others to enjoy for at least one ride.

It was then time to go home.

We know that sometimes in life, people cut you off.  It can be annoying, but as usual, there is something better in store.

Friends like that

One of the quotes recently surfacing from Robin Williams:

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.

That quote stung when I read it. I think of so many people whom stay in "friendships" or maybe they are called "situations"or even "relationships" because they don't know how to get out. They don't understand the power of true friendships. They don't understand the situation they are in is worse than the opportunities available.  (Yoo Hoo, Peter Pan, this would be you).

I have incredible friends. Period.

Months can pass. In fact, months on months - making that years, but that doesn't change our friendships. We understand our friendships.

One one of the things you learn later on, friend the "real" friends.

The friends you care so much that they don't care.  (I hope that makes sense)  The friends whom don't care you act like an idiot, but will throw you in the car, because they know, next week, you will do the same. (And, you won't remind them what you did for them weeks or years ago. You both know it doesn't really matter).

Yes, it's easy to hang out with convenient people - those people in our everyday surroundings. Even when at our core base, we aren't comfortable. Most people try to ignore the feeling.

Maybe it's not the "popular" person.

The person whom doesn't "conform" to society. "They" don't fit "in".

Or friends that understand my life doesn't really fit "in to the norm". It sorta does. It sorta doesn't. But what is most important - I'm comfortable with the way my life looks (most of time - none of us are, all time - we only substitute it with STUFF).

My friends are old. My friends are young. My friends have kids. My friends don't have kids. Some understand, when I say I'm happy to go to the party, but I'm staying there - they don't blink an eye. Some don't understand - why would you stay here?

I have friends caught up in the "fake friend" world. Sure, it's fun. I've been there.

There are trips. Stories. Adventures. Prizes. Then at the end of the night, you are by yourself with a bunch of people whom are also alone with other people. But I figured it out over a decade ago, "it's worse to be with someone and be alone then it will EVER be to be alone."

People whom don't understand what it means when you get a call in the middle of the night for an emergency. Not an emergency of the fake kind, but the real kind.

The kind that drive 500 miles to pick up their dog. The dog that can can stay with them for 3 months.Whom might die. She's almost twelve. The kind whom will undertake the moment and embrace it. The ones that know what to do.

The friend whom stands in the parking lot and cries.  Because, you understand everything changes from this moment on.

My friends, they understand a world where you can be lonely with other people. People whom understand a change is worth it all. A world where it might end up being shorter, but will be more complete.

My friends are real. Real people whom tell you a funny story - and it makes your day. And really, for some reason, she's not your "real friend",  you might not even know her name, but SO authentic with you, why of course she is your friend. Real people.

Because, we don't have friends who make us feel all alone. No matter the age.

We have friends whom make us feel whole.  We have friends like that.

Perspective

All it takes is a getaway. 

At least for me.  

I was faking it all summer.  Pretending to try really hard.  I'm not a good pretender.  I'm authentic.  In everything I do.

Pretending I wasn't miserable not being in Hawaii for the summer.  So, I went.

Then, I came back.

I arrived Saturday morning - well rested from a first class ticket home.  I came straight home and went to straight to bed.  

Waking up at 12:30.  I called a couple of friends and caught up.  Doing some chores and "trying to re-enter".  As re-entry is not always easy.

There was a "Blues & Brews Festival" in the neighborhood on Saturday night.  I put on my beach dress, my flip flops and didn't straighten my hair.  

There was humidity.  The music was great.  I ran into a bunch of friends.  (I was there with one friend).  

Finally, at 9:00, I was the walking dead.  I made my way home.

It was a beautiful night.  Good friends.  Good music.  Perfect Weather.  

My how this place now seems so nice.  Sometimes all we need is perspective.

Of course it was Jack

My first Tuesday on Oahu, I went to go paddling.

I was staying about 40 minutes from downtown.  I don't spend 20 minutes in the car on a normal basis, much less 40.

There is a Canoe Group in Oahu (actually there are many)  - and I found a recreational one near Waikiki. There wasn't one closer to me, or at least not one that I found.

SO, here is me - driving 40 minutes to an hour ONE WAY to go paddle  (I used to travel over an hour to go ski on Saturdays - so that girl still lives in me when she finds something she enjoys)

I get to Waikiki in the middle of the afternoon.  I find where I'm supposed to be at 5:30pm.  I go park and find the beach.

This is a really beautiful beach.  BUT, it's crowded.  I'm whiny.  I'm hot.  I just spent an hour in the car trying to find this place.  I'm spoiled. (Don't even get me going about finding parking!)

In the water.  Then reading my book.  Back in the water.

I think it's time for a beer.

I walk to Duke's - which is a great place in a nice hotel right on the water.  I sit there for a bit, chatting with the guys next to me.  Then another man on the other side comes and sits down.

He SOUNDS just like Jack Nicholson.  He's thinner though.  We start chatting.  (Of course we do).  I'm still in kind of a whiny mood.

"Why would you live here?  People should just live in LA.  There is traffic.  You are closer to everything.  And there is the Ocean."  I say.  (As I said, I was feeling whiny).  The man on the bar stool replies " Look kid, I live in LA, this place is nothing like it".

Mind you, this man has on a pair of khaki shorts, a collared shirt and a ball cap.

We chat for a bit.  He tells me of a couple good hikes I need to go on.  (And he says, "When your friends you are staying with don't want to take you on the hike "because it's too touristy, tell them you are going anyway". )  (BTW, we went on those hikes - more to come)

We talk for a bit more.

The whole time I'm arguing in my head "This is Jack Nicholson."; "No, it's not".

Then I stand to leave.  "I'm going to paddle now.  Paddling makes me VERY happy.".Then, he says, "I got your tab".  I reply "Thank you. I really do appreciate it."

He looks at me.  His right eyebrow arches, he replies, "You enjoy yourself".......




PS - The next day, I GOOGLE Jack - all the things he mentioned about him were exactly the same as the man I was talking to at the bar.

PSS. - My friends say, "You made his day - You didn't recognize him."

PPSS - Thanks for the drinks Jack..........

Calling it a day

At some point in life, you have to stop doing what you are doing.  Stop thinking that by doing the same thing over and over again, you are going to get different results.

We all know this.  If you do the same thing over and over - you get the same results.

Sometimes, we do the same thing, yet we tell ourselves it's going to be different.

Three days ago, I changed my direct flight from Honolulu to Denver to a flight from Kona to Denver.  I switched days.  I was going to stay a few extra days.  

Then suddenly there was a hurricane headed this way.  Then there was another one also headed this way.  

Suddenly, it's Thursday.  Maybe I should just go home.

This SOOOO goes against everything I do in my life.  Go home????  Take an earlier flight?  Whom are we kidding?  Since when do I take an earlier flight?

(And the real irony of the situation?  The only TWO people whom asked if I got an earlier flight out?  My mom and dad.  Maybe they should get to know their daughter a little better (joking!) - or I should pay attention to what my sons really want in their lives)

I cancelled my flight to Kona.  After all, really, the reason I wanted to be there?  So, I could swim my Ironman course.  So, I could paddle with my crew.  So, I could give a little girl I love a hug.

All things I couldn't do with the storm pending. Beaches were closed and the little girl can't ask to see me.

SO, today, I'm going to call it a day.

I cancelled my flight to Kona.  They re-booked me on my flight from Honolulu to Denver. Direct.

It's time to get back to Denver.

Something important happened though.  I got all the way out here - and I miss the Big Island because it still takes my breath away.  I thought it might have been that hunky Hawaiian I met a few years ago.  But really it's this place.

Sometimes you just have to call it a day.

A hui ho Hawaii - A hui ho...

Hawaiian Hospitality

There is something about "Southern Hospitality" you don't really understand unless you have been to the South - or have been to Texas.  As people from Texas don't consider themselves part of the South.  They are from Texas.

Most Southerners/Texans welcome anyone and everyone.  You are stranded on the side of the road?  Here, let me call my brother-in-laws cousin and he will send his next door neighbor over to get you.

You are hungry?  Let me feed you.  Let me send you on your way with food too.

You are lost?  Head South, then make a right at Miss Mary's barn, then you will be back on the interstate.

I'm not kidding.  It's that friendly in the South.

Todd has been stationed here in Oahu for almost two years now.  He goes back and forth on if he likes this place or not.  He likes looking at the ocean, but he's not a water boy.  He likes the mountains.  He misses his horses and hunting.

I've told him over and over the last two weeks, what he is really missing is that "sense of community".  He doesn't "belong" here.

He hasn't been hunting.  He hasn't been riding.  He hasn't been roping.  He doesn't really like being in the Army.  He needs to find a group he can do these things with.

I don't blame him, I'd be pretty miserable too.

Then, yesterday, a funny thing happened.

He went BACK to the store (after I had already been), to buy more oil to deep fry a turkey.  (I stayed at the house working).  While in line, the lady behind him asked if Todd could help her grandson load some ice cream onto the belt.  "Of course" he replied.

She had on a T-shirt that had something to do with roping.  (horses and cows).  Turns out she is a local and lived here her entire life.  They start talking.

Side note here:  While Todd is no blood relation to me, I was at the hospital when he was born. I've known him his entire life.  If I were a guy, I wouldn't believe he wasn't mine.  We are still unsure if he's not really mine - somehow.  We both have that "I've never met a stranger gene" and we have this uncanny resemblance to each other.

A bit later, he pulls up in the driveway and gets out of the car.  "I met some new friends".  "Great", I reply. Then a truck pulls into the driveway too.  A lady, a little bit older than me, and her grandson get out of the truck.

Turns out she lives about two miles from his house.  Has 4 acres.  A couple horses.  Some chickens.  There are three houses on the land as all the family lives together.  She has 4 kids.  Or 6 six.  The number changes a couple of times (but I get that as I don't think I could really tell you how many kids I have in addition to the two whom I gave birth).  (It doesn't really matter to me). And 5 grand-kids.

(Come to find out she is 3 years older than me - more on this later)

I introduce myself to the little boy as "Auntie Leasa" as you don't say "Mr or Mrs" out here.  Everyone is your "Auntie or Uncle".

We end up at their land.  Todd checks out the horses.  She takes us to this great locals beach.  Tells us if we have any problems with locals tell them "Auntie Bessie" says we can come here".

It was her sons birthday, and hers tomorrow.  She later invites us over to the house for dinner.

Of course, we go.  We bring the deep-fried turkey that didn't get fried until the hour before we left for her house.

When I got out of the car, the little boy (Marcus - with blonde hair, green eyes and Hawaiian skin) jumps off the front porch and says "AUNTIE!!!!!!"  and gives me a huge hug.

There are over 20 people there.  Kids, grand-kids, other ohana (family) and us haloe's from the mainland. Horse back riding, chasing chickens and lots of good food.

We get in the car to go home and Todd gives me a look.  Then he says, "Those are some good people".

And, THAT my friend is what you have been missing.  A little Hawaiian Hospitality.

Alcohol and Armpits

When Todd picked me up at the airport, with a fresh lai in his hand - he remarked "This baggage claim area smells like booze."

Not, "You smell like booze", but the whole group of people on your plane, smell a little ripe..... A bit like alcohol and armpits.

We had all spent close to 24 hours together.  I know more about the people on that plane than I normally find out about people.  Granted, we all were a little nervous. 

We were all in the same clothes we had on the day before.  Some people, Denver had been their lay-over. They had been traveling even further.

So, some of our funny quotes from the trip:

• Is he your son or your boyfriend?  (I didn't quite know how to answer that:)
• The lady at Wal-Mart:  "Is she your girlfriend?"  (she asked this to Todd when I said I was visiting - she made my day!
• Your Aunt is really hot
• If you say that again, I will carve out your eyes with a spoon
• She is not hot, she is my Aunt.
• It's 3:30 on the East Coast, I think we can have a beer
• Aunt Leasa, thank you for coming to see me.  

Wait, the last one isn't funny - it's the truth.