It's just dinner

My girlfriends dad is turning 75 years old in a few weeks.

He's throwing himself a birthday party.

In Las Vegas.

Of course, I invited myself.

There are 20 or so of us are going. We are staying at the Wynn. Everything but the airfare is party of the "birthday package".

I guess this is the next "destination celebration" of our lifetime. When we were all getting married, there was none of this "destination wedding". If you went to a place and got married, it was someone's families place.

This has all changed. Plus, this is a birthday party - even better than a wedding in my opinon.

I really stink and following along with multiple characters in a book - give me 5. When you give me 20, my brain quits following. I like to think I'm a simple girl. I also like to think "Do I really need to know SOOOOO much about so many people?"  (No is the answer to that question).  In other words, hang on, I'm about to introduce a bunch of new characters to this play I call my life.

SO - I'm going to Vegas in a few weeks.

I'm going without date. I am seeing Lily's uncle, whom lives in Vegas and is a good friend of mine. I'm flying in a night early with Carolyn so we can help get things ready for the "festivities". We are seeing him the night before everyone else arrives.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a former love. No, I didn't call/text/e-mail saying it was great to see him. He didn't either.  It was just nice to run into each other.

Well, this former love, has a mutual friend whom knows Carolyn's dad. Yes, the same one having the party in Vegas. Yes, this friend is also going to the birthday party in Vegas. It backs up to an industry trade show. (This is how the two men know each other).

Nothing really to lose at this point right?

"Hi! Attached is a birthday party invitation to a party I'm going to in Vegas in June.", "Your friend will be at the Friday night dinner too."

"If you are in Vegas at the same time, would you like to go to the dinner with me?"

I receive the reply (the same day):  "Do you mean June or July?"

"June", I reply.

I haven't heard another word. My friends think he's worried.

I think he's checking his schedule. He's trying to figure out if he will be there or not (otherwise)

After all, I didn't suggest we spend the rest of our lives together. I suggested dinner.

It's just a dinner.......

Sharing

The "sharing economy" is a relatively new term. Probably not still a term in other communities, but in Denver and much of the West Coast, it's becoming quite popular.

This is when you 'SHARE' what you have. Your car. Your house. You let someone else "borrow" your stuff, for a price, while you aren't using it.

I've been doing it for years. Others have too.

Not everyone gets this concept, but it's okay, our tribe of "sharers" get it.

January of this year I started looking for my house swap to Hawaii. Knowing that it would be best if I went back to Hawaii. Back to my island. Back to a place all my own. Not staying with others, but my "own". Or well, by myself.

I found the perfect ad. A couple wanting to come to Colorado for the summer. A different island this time - Maui. That works for me. A new experience yet, an old experience all at the same time.

We chatted for a bit. It was a perfect situation really.

ONLY.

They needed to be about an hour North of where I live. Outside a little town as the husband is a visiting professor at Colorado State University.

The wife said to me, "I'm so sorry this isn't going to work, as this would be perfect". I replied, "Let me see what I can do.".

SO

Well, we all know how this story is going to end, but I'll tell it anyway.

I post the statement on my Facebook page:

"Hey, if anyone knows someone that lives within 20 minutes of Ft. Collins, CO and wants to swap houses and live in Maui for the summer, let me know".

There were some funny replies - I even volunteered to go to Maui, if the people in Ft. Collins wanted to live in my house in Denver.

A couple of weeks later, I receive a private message - from - now follow this - the HUSBAND, of the woman whom rented my basement from me while we were in KONA the second summer. He connects me to a couple. This couple is friends with a friend of the husband (we are at three generations of connections if you are keeping track).

I explain to them the situation. The couple - is a wife whom is a teacher. A husband whom works at home. They have two small children. I explain how it all works - the house swap, what you lock up, how you do all of this. I spoke to the wife on the phone. (The wife of the couple in Ft Collins).

Really, that was the end of that. But, well, we know me.

Two days ago - I had to follow up. Maybe it's the recruiter in me.  Or, the dreamer. Or the believer in chances. Maybe, it's just who I am.

SO, the e-mail starts.......

"Did anything ever come of this?"

The husband of the couple in Ft Collins replies, "I'm not sure how this came to be, but I guess I should thank you. We are spending 7 weeks in Maui. We leave June 12."

I replied, "SOOOO Happy this all worked out. BTW, that day is my birthday. Be warned though, this might become a habit."

Keep dreaming people. Keep sharing......

My mom friends

I wrote this post before, but I don't know what happened. It disappeared. So, it will be different but the essence will be the same.

Once upon a time, I became a mom.

Then I met other women whom also had become a mom.

My life is filled with all kinds of people:  with kids, without kids, married, single, never married, divorced, those whom never gave birth, but have kids, young, old, giving, selfish.

I consider myself very lucky. I have good friends. Of course, I do always say, "I make a good friend, therefore, I have good friends".

My "mom" friends though are another "sub-set" of my friends. These are women I know - wait, make that met - from my sons. They became my friends because our children knew each other. These are not "friends of my mom"

These are women whom we met at the lunch table. Or while standing in the middle of street pregnant with our second child. Or on a playground.

My "mom friends" came to me through my sons.

In fact, one mom, whom I actually doing some work with is still programmed in my phone as "Sam's Parents". Their house phone shows up too. Finally, a few years ago, I added her name. As she said, "What, I get my OWN place in your phone?"

Her husband takes Duncan hunting. We spend holidays together. We've kinda raised our kids together.

No, no "kinda". We have been through all this together.

The other day, she told her husband, "If anything happens to me, you call Leasa. Make that your first call", "she will make sure everything is handled."

She told me (when telling me this story), "He looked at me like I was crazy".

That's okay.

I'll handle it. Us mom's have to stick together.

Decisions

Life really comes down to one thing.

A decision.

Yes or No. In or out. Good or bad.

Not one decision. We all make the wrong decision from time to time. But looking back, it was a decision that led us down the path to where we are standing.

Not a compilation of  many decisions.

One decision at a time.

You can't look back and think "well, I wouldn't be having to make this decision, if I had decided to go the other route, the other time."

Yes, one decision can lead to a better opportunity. Yes, a bad decision can lead you to have to make a choice that neither of the outcomes are favorable.

No, you can't change your mind if you have already implemented that decision.

However, you can make other better decisions based upon the fact, that you made a bad one first. Or maybe that was a good one first.

Either you are in, or you are out.

Make a decision.

Now, THAT was love

We all have different expectations of "love".

There is love from our parents.

Love from our friends.

Love from one of the opposite sex.

Then sometimes, there is this thing called "love". Love, where we just love someone. Not because we are related to them. Not because we even like them. 

You know, that Hollywood moment, when two people meet and LOVE each other.

I read a book by Dan Savage in the spring. Easy Read. Hysterical. Dan Savage is a sex columnist. He's married. To a man. He a has a son. He's been married for years. With his husband for years.

I didn't necessarily agree with everything he had to say. What I did like is, though, his honesty.

There is a part of the book that talks about divorce and "until death do us part". He was raised in a South Side Chicago neighborhood. Very Catholic. Where death was the only way out of a marriage.

To summarize, an Aunt put her head in the oven and died. And the family, "well, the marriage was great, then she died.".  

He then goes on to talk about "great marriages" and people loving each other. How come the only great marriages end with someone dying? What if, someone had a great run with each other. Then there were times that the other couldn't bare? Why does it have to end with death? 

Tonight I ran into a guy I dated ten years ago. Maybe 11. 

He's twenty years older than me. 

I think I told people he was only 15 years older than me.

We haven't seen each other in over 6 years ago.

He looks good.

We had a nice time catching up. In fact, it was perfect. He had a dinner to attend. We caught up.

There are friends of friends.

We have much in common.

We had a moment.

It was actually hard to say good-bye. 

What we had was quite an experience. A moment with highs and lows.

It lasted about a year. 

My kids were young. His kids were in high school. It was a moment in our lives. 

I'm not the one whom dates someone with kids. My kids have a great dad. My life is just fine. 

The funny thing is, "it" was still there tonight.

You know,

The, "I'm giggling."

I don't giggle.

The "wow", I'm still wondering how this worked out. In my mind.

By now, you would be old.

Of course, you were older than me when I met you. I loved you then too.

We dated over ten years ago. We didn't know what to do. You - wait, make that me. Didn't know what to do.

Looking back. We messed up.

Because, no matter what someone else has in their past. Isn't the future more valuable?

Once upon a time,

I loved you......

Everyone's doing it

For years, I said my life ran "counter-cyclical" to the rest of the world. This of course, is after I figured out that fact.

I've never been hip.
Or in the know.
Or had the latest and greatest - car/technology/clothes - you name it - if it's new/hot/in style, I can almost guarantee I WON'T have.

I do remember trying to be those things. I really wished and wanted to be THAT person. The one whom understood it all. Had the fashion sense. Liked the new technology. Embraced new things. Set trends.

Not who I am.

By, "counter-cyclical", I mean, the rest of the world is having a great year - well, no, not me. Either personally, career wise, or financially. It works the same for me to, in reverse.

The rest of the "world" (my world and the rest of the people too), have a not good year. I'll then have one of the best years on record.

Then I figured out, it's not really "counter-cyclical".

I decided, I'm ahead of the curve.

When the rest of the world's year starts to decline. I had that year, LAST YEAR. I start pulling out of a bad year, the world is about to rock bottom.

I never hit the summit. I can hit the bottom. I ride the waves.

Years ago, before the house swap. I had rented out my basement in the summer to a college/grad student coming to Denver for the summer.

I was a "risk" taker. People didn't really do this. Unless of course, it was truly "rental" property.  Now - there are entire websites dedicated to people whom will rent out a room/basement.  Companies that will "share" cars - CAR2GO UBER

Want to rent out that apartment?  Go to :  HomeAway, Vacation Rental By Owner, Craigslist

Want to change houses: HomeExchange , Craiglist

I got started on Craigslist. Of course, there have always been "want ads", but now we have morphed into a "sharing economy".

Everyone's doing it.

Same as before. Be careful. Be diligent.

Only, the funny things is, for the first time, in years, I'm actually having trouble finding someone to rent my basement for the summer. There are all sorts of rooms/spaces to rent for the summer.

I guess I turned out to be a trend-setter after all.

The Ghost

She's back

She's been gone for a LONG time. As I mean in "long time" as "years".

We use to joke around here we had a ghost in our house. Music would start playing. Electrical plugs all of a sudden wouldn't work. Other little things. Including, waking up in the middle of the night to Bob Marley playing on the computer.

Not the computer that is used on a regular basis.  You know, the one in the corner.

This hasn't happened FOREVER. In fact, the boys and I kind of thought whom our ghost "might be". About 2.5 years ago, all our "weird" - as we call our "ghost" activities stopped.

No random music. No clocks re-setting. Just living.

Then, well, the other night.

A friend of mine has a momma cat and kittens at her house. For a fraction of second, I actually thought "Well, Maybe I should take one".

In fact, I even requested the picture.

Then, I realized the kittens were only two weeks old. They looked like rats. In fact, the momma cat looked more appealing to me. But in my heart I also knew my friend and her family were in love with the momma cat.

As you see, we aren't big on babies around here.

That night, my 13 year old fat cat? He knocked over 2 plants and ran across my bed all night. Until of course, he fell asleep on my face.

No.

No kittens aloud. We get that.

AND

tonight?

I was sitting here, writing this blog.

My candle went out.

My phone started playing my favorite song (granted, that was the last song I heard)

The cat jumped down from the front window

Another plant fell over.

Seriously.

I don't believe in these things. I don't think.


I've been worried about a couple of friends of mine. I think my ghost is too.

She's back.....