Manifesto

Several years ago (we aren't sure of an exact date), a girlfriend was over and we decided to come up with a "Manifesto" for our lives.

Not a "mission statement". But things we wanted to do. Create. Be. In our lives.

Statements. Quotes. Thoughts  A MANIFESTO for our lives going forward. Things we were going to add to our lives. Not goals. Create. Things we wanted to read. Some of them were things we wanted to do to send our lives into the future.

Truth be told, I kinda forgot about it. Then I think was last year. She sent me an old e-mail with our manifesto. I just laughed

There was a list of things/statements/goals we were going to do. In reading over it, we did bring a few of the "mantra's" into our lives. Yet some of them, just made me smile.

What I really remember on that manifesto?

The things we said we we wanted to do that were new experiences for us.

One was take a visitor from out of town to view the sunset from the downtown Hyatt bar.

I hate going downtown, but try to show other people our city. I try.

I guess the manifesto was about living life to the fullest. Trying new things.

We didn't really incorporate it much into our lives.

The one other thing that sticks out is the following:

• Go to the Mile High Flea Market

My first thought when she sent this to me again was "And why were we going to the flea market?"

We talked about this and laughed. We had no idea how this had made the "Manifesto List"

But then she sent me this article yesterday:

• 10 Insanely Awesome Inspirational Manifestos

Truly, these are inspirational Manifestos. Nothing near our thoughts. Ours were more of goals.

But truly. My first thought?  Not one of them has an "Attend a Flea Market on them. How could this be a good manifesto?". Something must be wrong with these people.

PS. 

Okay - I tried to find it. But I have a new computer. I have an old one too - no place to be found. No wonder true "collectors" kept piles of newspaper clippings in their house or letters. Now. we just file it away and then we can never find it again on a computer. Maybe it is the same thing as a garage - only easier to clean.

With computers, you just pick them up and throw them away. We all think when we are old we are going to sit around going through these things. I don't think we really will.

PSS.

We still haven't made it to the flea market.

At least we have that

While on my lay over home from Hawaii, I was able to have drinks and fish tacos with an old friend.

This friend of mine has a daughter. A daughter whom is near the age of the boys. It was nice to catch up. It was nice to talk about the kids in an old familiar setting. It was nice to be friends.

Not to worry about feelings or whom was dating was whom. But, two old friends catching up on their lives. Their kids lives.

We talked about the kids. What they are up to these days. The involvement in sports. Or should I say the boys involvement in sports. The girl has stopped participating.

He wasn't too happy that she just hangs out with her boyfriend. She's forgotten sports. She's forgotten her friends. I mentioned, we all do things differently. I wouldn't do things that way. My role is different.

We talked professional sports. We talked about work. We talked about the islands. We talked about life.

When I mentioned I wouldn't say a thing about his daughters mom, he gotta kind of quiet. I then replied, "I'm not going to trash her mom, she lets me see our daughter." It stayed quiet for a bit.

We ate our fish tacos and drank a beer in a moment of peace.

I did say, "She should be swimming." He replied, "Well, we agree on that"

I smiled.

We kept talking.

Powers for Good

Part of my "foreshadowing" in life, happened tonight.

Back story - and I've talked about it before - there are events, moments and Deja Vu's in our lives. We just don't always listen.

Sometimes I call it "using my power for good". As I believe, we all have the ability to do this - we just don't listen to God, the Universe, the voice in our head - one or all of the above. Either to tell the story, or just keep our mouths shut.

That is, when I do listen. When I listen to that little voice, I'm "Using my powers for good".

Re-entry back to the real world has been as expected. Busy. However, not depressing. Just glad to be back.

BUT, getting back to my other "normal" routine has been a bit difficult.

On the island, I was going to bed at 8 - 9 pm; I had a baby to wake up and take care of. Then I was up at 4 at the latest. Maybe one day at 4:45 for my "baby duty".  It was awesome. Tiring. Probably easier because I knew it was only a week.

Upon returning, I've been in bed at the latest at 9:15pm. - COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED. It's all I can do to stay awake until then.

Work is so busy I can't see straight. Wrapping up the hockey season with the banquet tonight. The finale to the inaugural season for the high school team. Back to the real world.

Only, I keep having weird things happen.

I'm thinking about something or someone - then the phone rings telling me what I was thinking about.

Nolan and I were talking about him liking sugar. The next day, there was an article I received about a teenage boy and his sugar addiction and what he did to combat it. (Note, Nolan is under-weight, but still the article was almost verbatim our conversation).

On Tuesday, I woke up at midnight. My first thought? I need to turn off the ringer on my phone. I don't want it to bother me when it goes off. I went to the bathroom, I went back to bed.

Tonight, after the high school banquet, I stopped at my favorite place on the way home. I'm talking to the couple next to me. She's in real estate. We chat for a bit. She then mentions she sold "my crushes" house when he moved from Denver years ago". (Denver's most eligible bachelor - the one whom I've actually quit 'crushing' on).  (That's for you Carolyn)  I just smiled and let her tell her story.

Tuesday - when I woke up - there were a couple of texts from Peter Pan. I had woken up to turn my phone off.

Tonight - I didn't have the heart to tell her Denver's most eligible bachelor just bought a new place. I guess he didn't call her. She then tells me, "There is a reason I'm supposed to meet you. Do you ever get that feeling?".

I just smiled. "Yes, I know what you mean."

Using my powers for good.

The truth is

I always like to say, "I'm the worst secret keeper in the world, but I love surprises."

The truth is though, that statement isn't true. The truth is, I will keep a secret until the end of time - if THAT is what someone else would like me to do.

At first, someone else's secret is a burden. You hold on to it too tight. You walk around carrying someone else's secret. But the truth is, once someone tells you their secret? It's no longer a secret. They have now shifted the burden from them to you.

It's a guilt thing.

Once I tell you "don't tell anyone" and then follow it with a big bad secret - well, you share my burden. The truth is, that isn't true.

A secret is only a secret, if really, only you know. If someone else knows, well, we all know how that goes. I tell a friend not to tell. They then tell a friend not to tell. And on and on and on.

Truth is, I usually forget about things people tell me to keep a secret. The moment someone says, "will you keep this confidential", my eyes just roll. For Heaven's sake, I'm a recruiter. I know how much money people make. I know how much money people DON'T make. I know what it will take you to move for a new job. I know when someone is about to propose.

I KNOW ALL SORTS OF SECRETS.

Only, most of the "secrets" I know; other people know too.

I'm not talking about the things friends know about each other - that's just history. No one ever said "OMG, don't ever tell my mom I was puking off the balcony on spring break."

That's just one of those things you file away. Not worthy of a secret status.

Although, I learned a few years ago after starting the blogs: It's great to put it all out there. Not putting a burden on anyone else.

It helps others live vicariously through you.

By being brutally honest, people tell you thank you and stop you on the street.

It also though, at least for me, makes me hold things a bit tighter. I know the world is wondering what I'll do. The funny thing is - I use to never care what others thought of me.

I guess I still don't. It's just harder to share stories knowing we are all weak, when they hold all your secrets too. Waiting for judgement.

So, the other day, I took a trip. A trip without all my viewers/readers/fans. Just me.

Well, me and I'd like to say some others. But this trip was mine.

But it wasn't.

Long story short. I went on a "helping" trip. I took my pilot friend up on a free buddy flight. I took a week off. From everything. Only - I ended up working and taking care of some sweet girls.

So, tonight, I was bumped from my flight. I was trying to get home. There were no seats on the plane for us free passengers.

The truth is, most people would have been mad at this point. Me:Us beggars can't be choosy.

I wasn't mad. I just no longer had a secret to keep.

I walked straight to the ticket counter. There was a blue-eyed guy standing there looking like he had had a long day.

There was me.

Trying to get home.

"So, I understand there is no getting on this flight." I said to the guy at the ticket counter. He said, "that is correct".

"Any chance you could route me through Kona?

Where do I start

It seems I wait a while between posts now. Not because I'm waiting on purpose, but there just doesn't seem to be anything to write.

Then when I come up with a premise, and begin to want to tell a story. I log in to the website. Then I start reading other blogs. Then I think "oh, I should write about this". Or wait a minute, did I tell the story about that. All these other stories come falling out.

And here the whole time I didn't think I had anything to write.

Towing the line

It sure sucks being a grown-up.

My oldest son is not eligible to play in the play-offs for the high school team.

He missed 5 games for the team. He missed them for club games. (His other team).  He some how thought, it would all work out in the end. First of all, he is my child - of course, it's going to work out for him in the end.  Second of all, he was marked "there" for one of the games. That is, until he told the athletic director, that was mis-marked.

He was honest.

My first thought was: he was punished for telling the truth.

It would have been found out though. Then the whole team would have been disqualified. Yes, it sucks.

However - here is me. Complaining about the lack of ethics in our kids sports today. Here we have an athletic director willing to stand up and say no.

I mentioned to the athletic director that "the rumor is" so and so on the basketball team ended up getting to play. She told me, tell me whom it is, I will not participate in gossip, but I will not also stand for someone whom is lying.

The athletic director called me today and asked me if I had any questions - actually, I didn't. In fact, I told her, I was super proud to be a part of an organization that held true to the rules. I did tell her, however, if I found out, there were exceptions made for other teams or other players on other teams - I would be the first one in her office and there would be hell to pay.

Then I learned the someone had called the athletic director (still not sure, as once again she was professional), only she said "she" three times, and did say maybe it was my sister?cousin? - I digress - and said they could provide a doctors note for a missed game.

Nice. So, we are teaching our child "there are rules, but if they don't fit you, let's see what we can do".

Not my thing. There are exceptions to rules - yes. Always, but rules are rules and I have to admire those whom stay there.

It sucks to be my son right now. Although, he made these choices. He understood the risk.

He was rewarded from being honest, with a punishment. We all know it would have come out in the end.

I'm proud that he think this sucks. I'm proud he's taking it. The athletic director is standing up for the rules.

The problem is, good behavior for being honest is not rewarded.

However, he knew the rules going in.

Tutu

Talk about getting old...... As of Sunday, I became a Gramma. Sorta.

Not a Grandmother.

Not a Granny - although, I'm reserving that name for one day if I have Grand kids, that's what I want to be called. Granny.That will be my name.

I became a Tutu.

Someone I never thought I would be. Someone better than the insecure girl I thought I was.

Although, I think I knew "Tutu" was going to arrive this year. I'm 45. I always knew there was going to be one to arrive this year. I would have just never believed this would have been the way it would have worked out.

Of course.

Do any of us?

Remember a few years ago, when you I left you in the middle of the ocean? In the middle of my life?

Back to a sweet boy. I was at the hospital when he was born. I was 19. It was 1988.

Do the math.  He's 26

Charlotte Grace was born on 2/15/15 at 5:15.

I think her lucky number is 5.

Everyone was told to wait.

"Why aren't you here Aunt Leasa?"

Yes, Auntie's have privileges mom's don't. Moms can't  be there for a month. But, "Aunt Leasa - I wish you were here"

That's the thing.

The thing about aunties. Cousins. Other special family members. We have special spots.

I wish I could explain it better. I wish I could tell you how someone whom doesn't have their blood running through their veins. I wish I could say so much more.

What I can really say?

I'm to young to be called Grandma.

In Hawaiian, Grand Mother is called Tutu.

When I met you Todd, I wasn't ready to be called Mom.

I'm ready to be called Tutu.......