Towing the line

It sure sucks being a grown-up.

My oldest son is not eligible to play in the play-offs for the high school team.

He missed 5 games for the team. He missed them for club games. (His other team).  He some how thought, it would all work out in the end. First of all, he is my child - of course, it's going to work out for him in the end.  Second of all, he was marked "there" for one of the games. That is, until he told the athletic director, that was mis-marked.

He was honest.

My first thought was: he was punished for telling the truth.

It would have been found out though. Then the whole team would have been disqualified. Yes, it sucks.

However - here is me. Complaining about the lack of ethics in our kids sports today. Here we have an athletic director willing to stand up and say no.

I mentioned to the athletic director that "the rumor is" so and so on the basketball team ended up getting to play. She told me, tell me whom it is, I will not participate in gossip, but I will not also stand for someone whom is lying.

The athletic director called me today and asked me if I had any questions - actually, I didn't. In fact, I told her, I was super proud to be a part of an organization that held true to the rules. I did tell her, however, if I found out, there were exceptions made for other teams or other players on other teams - I would be the first one in her office and there would be hell to pay.

Then I learned the someone had called the athletic director (still not sure, as once again she was professional), only she said "she" three times, and did say maybe it was my sister?cousin? - I digress - and said they could provide a doctors note for a missed game.

Nice. So, we are teaching our child "there are rules, but if they don't fit you, let's see what we can do".

Not my thing. There are exceptions to rules - yes. Always, but rules are rules and I have to admire those whom stay there.

It sucks to be my son right now. Although, he made these choices. He understood the risk.

He was rewarded from being honest, with a punishment. We all know it would have come out in the end.

I'm proud that he think this sucks. I'm proud he's taking it. The athletic director is standing up for the rules.

The problem is, good behavior for being honest is not rewarded.

However, he knew the rules going in.

Tutu

Talk about getting old...... As of Sunday, I became a Gramma. Sorta.

Not a Grandmother.

Not a Granny - although, I'm reserving that name for one day if I have Grand kids, that's what I want to be called. Granny.That will be my name.

I became a Tutu.

Someone I never thought I would be. Someone better than the insecure girl I thought I was.

Although, I think I knew "Tutu" was going to arrive this year. I'm 45. I always knew there was going to be one to arrive this year. I would have just never believed this would have been the way it would have worked out.

Of course.

Do any of us?

Remember a few years ago, when you I left you in the middle of the ocean? In the middle of my life?

Back to a sweet boy. I was at the hospital when he was born. I was 19. It was 1988.

Do the math.  He's 26

Charlotte Grace was born on 2/15/15 at 5:15.

I think her lucky number is 5.

Everyone was told to wait.

"Why aren't you here Aunt Leasa?"

Yes, Auntie's have privileges mom's don't. Moms can't  be there for a month. But, "Aunt Leasa - I wish you were here"

That's the thing.

The thing about aunties. Cousins. Other special family members. We have special spots.

I wish I could explain it better. I wish I could tell you how someone whom doesn't have their blood running through their veins. I wish I could say so much more.

What I can really say?

I'm to young to be called Grandma.

In Hawaiian, Grand Mother is called Tutu.

When I met you Todd, I wasn't ready to be called Mom.

I'm ready to be called Tutu.......

Manifesting

In my my life, I believe in manifesting things.

By this, me personally mean, "If I truly believe something will happen. It will. It may not happen the way I thought it would, but it happens. Of course it does. It just doesn't happen when/where we thought it would happen.

One of my favorite moments over the holidays was me standing face to face with a guy I wanted to love forever.

That's the only way I can describe our friendship.

The truth is, at the time we met each other, if we had told each other this was the "ending" to the story. Well, we wouldn't have believed it.

I love him more than I love Peter Pan.

How many people can say that out loud?

He says to me, "You know, I love you." "Yes, I know this. This is how we were supposed to do things together.". I know we did the Disney family adventure with each other. I know we did all this craziness together.

This is just how we were supposed to do this together.

Then tonight, I run into "my coach". You know, the one. The coach. The one where we are supposed to have a crush, but keep going.

Two hours later.

He's ordering more wine. Once again,  He's ordering more wine. I'm sitting at his table. Talking to him. Talking to his 'coach'. Talking to the team whom thinks they are going to win tomorrow night

Talking to the other team coach.  (red wings)

Knowing this was all how this was going to be.

I left.

He was flirting with the girl next to me. Good for her.

In my mind, he's still wondering what I'm doing.

I did the "Good Thing, Bad Thing, Funny Thing" at the table tonight

Yes, me, with him. With you.

The woman next to me think it's God.

It think it's a bit of both. A little of nothing.  A lot of everything.

Manic Monday

Somehow, I've been recruiting people for companies off and on for over 20 years. I'm not quite sure how this happened.

No one ever says when they are 10: "When I grow up, I want to be a recruiter".  In fact, most people don't even know what recruiting is.

People think "recruiters" help people get jobs. Yes. We do that. But really, it's the opposite - we help companies find the right people for their organization.

The difference?

Our paycheck.

Companies are the ones who pay the recruiters. Not the individuals whom are looking for a new position. In a way, we are like real estate agents. But in recruiting, there is no "buyers agent" - only a company agent".

Things I've heard before from candidates:

• I need you to find me a job
• I know someone whom needs a job
• I'm in your database, why haven't you found me something?
• No thanks, I'm not interested in that position. Why didn't they hire me for the other position.
• Oh sorry (that is if they even call), I didn't go to that interview because I decided that job/company/title wasn't for me. (Yes, even after I told you I was interested)

It's a dance. 

Of course, I've had companies do the following:

• Stop calling back after 3 rounds of interviews with great candidates.
• Wait the six months AFTER our contract ends, and hire a candidate. Result being I don't get paid.
• Start out with one job description, but really want something completely different.

This is a MANIC business.

About once or twice a month, I think "I'm done.". Then the next day, I'm out there on a scavenger hunting trying to find a perfect candidate for my client. 

Sometimes I find them. Sometimes I don't. Then I do find a great candidate and I call a couple of my clients to see if they have any open positions. 

Some days it works. 

The Opposing Team's Game Plan

What would you do if you knew what your "competition" was about to do?

Would you try to "one up them"? (Do something better than what they were planning?)

Would you do the same thing they were planning on doing? Only try and do it better?

Maybe it's always been this way. Maybe the last generation thought the same thought - just applied to different situations.

I'm talking today about the gender/race equality/inequality.

Years from now, the above statement will have a few more "/" marks. A few years ago it might have just been gender equality/inequality.

I don't know. That wasn't "my" generation.

I'm female. I was also born in a time where I could grow up to be anything I wanted to be. I was never told "girls don't do that". Actually, I probably was, it was more said like "that's not very ladylike".

It's been great. Sorta. Except now we are all expected to do it all.

Whatever happened to roles? You know - you do this, I'll do that? Making a team. You pay defense, I'll play offense for the sports enthusiast out there. I'll do my part. You do yours.

Now, I would still define "my generation" as the transitional generation.

Our parents changed the "rules" of society.

I'm all about change. Sorta.

But, if you are going to change the rules. Make them public. Then move forward.

Recently, I was talking to this woman whom thought the guy at the other end of the room was very handsome. We spoke for a bit. Then she had to leave.

I went to give him her number. As it's always easier to do things for other people. No risk of self humiliation.

He asked why she didn't come over herself. She is attractive, but I'm not calling someone whom wouldn't even come introduce herself to me.

All I could think was:

• All those years of thinking someone didn't like me - they liked me, they just weren't brave
• Oh, so, you are shy too
• Someone told you, if HE doesn't make the move. He's not that in to you.
• Wow - and all these years I was thinking they weren't attracted to me - turns out, I was braver than them.

I have two teenage boys. "They" tell us, the girls today are more aggressive. "The girls" go after who and what they want."

Listen boys, they told us girls the same thing years ago.

They are all lying.

I've been a teen-age girl. I have teen-age boys. It will work. It won't work. 

By that, I mean, what works for you. Don't look at the other teams "plans" - they could be fake ones.You could play for a different team. A team that hasn't even been born yet. By team, I mean idea. Maybe it's a different sport. Maybe, you are creating your own rules.

In fact, you could come up with a plan better than theirs. Just tell someone else your plan. There is much to be said for telling everyone aka the other team - your plan.

Trust me on this one.

Human Doings

Life is a funny thing.

There are times we are sooooo busy, we can't even see straight. There is SO much to do. Places we have to be, people we need to see.

Work is busy. Kids (if you have them) are busy. You are busy taking care of what your kids NEED to do. The house is dirty. There is laundry to be done. You are busy taking care of what other people need (family, friends, etc).

Then we come up with the idea we need to do "other" things. Other goals. Or maybe even "I need to clean out my office"

For months, maybe even now years, I've not been motivated to organize my house or my office. I simply don't want to.

I don't want to do a lot of things. We are then told this is depression.

In a way, I agree. Although, how I really agree is that we have been "trained" or "taught" if we aren't "doing" something, well, then something must be wrong.

What ever happened to laying on the couch to watch a movie in the middle of the day? No, I don't mean folding the laundry while on the couch. I simply mean "BEING". Enjoying the movie.

The boys and I watched a movie the other night. It was 6 pm.

I'm known for falling asleep during movies. This one I stayed awake for the whole movie.As usually, when I do lay down on the couch, I'm tired. I've been DOING things all day. This time, it was early enough. Plus the soundtrack was great. PLUS, it was a great movie with an incredible soundtrack.

(The movie was Rudderless - As Nolan would say at the end, "It was a good find".) An Indie film loaded with famous people. I don't think it's up for any awards, but it's worth a watch. Hey, if I stayed awake, it's worth a watch. :-)

What happened to being able to sit and enjoy something? You know, like have a conversation? Watch a movie? Go for a bike ride. Oops - there is the problem.

We thing we have to be "doing" something.

If I'm not "doing something", I feel guilty. First I feel like I'm missing something. Then I think I'm wasting time.

When I go to the beach, I read my book, I swim and I read again. Then sometimes, I just sit and watch the beauty of the ocean.

Sometimes, I lay on the couch and watch a movie.

Sometimes, I sit on my front porch and watch the sunset.

Sometimes, I go to a yoga class and stretch and breath and listen.

I'm a human being. Not a human doing.......

Bobby G

I lost another friend over the holidays. With this one this story is a little bit more complicated. As we were more acquaintances than friends, but he holds a special place.

A little about me - well, I've realized I'm really good at writing about people whom mean something to me. I'm even better when I'm writing about something/someone that/whom touched my heart.

But, this isn't about me.

It's about Bobby G.

About 10 years, I had a good male friend named Ernest. While Ernest is a pain in the arse, I've met a lot of good people through him. Ernest had some good friends whom live in Vail.

Vail is one of my most favorite places on earth. Yes, I can still stay that.

For reason or another, a girlfriend and I were headed to Vail for the weekend. We didn't know where we were staying. Ernest called one of his friends. His friend called another friend. The other friend said, "sure, there is extra room at our house. Your friend and her friend can come stay for the weekend."

I love people like this.

No, I don't know you. I don't know your friend, But, if you are friends with my friends, well, then it will all be okay.

It was a wonderful day. The skiing was awesome. Bobby G and a friend of his met my girlfriend and I at the bottom of the ski runs. Here are four people whom don't know each other spending a day together.

Turns out my friend Ernest grew up with Bobby's wife. This turned out to be the first of many ski days all together. All of us.

Bobby could be a bit ornery. Although I've noticed, I tend to like that personality type.

Very A type personality. #4 in to a company that made it quite big. I forget what his title was, but he lived between Vail and Connecticut - the company headquarters were in Miami. It took his assistant years to figure out he didn't live there.

He could be difficult. My guys friends thought he was "too driven". Couldn't let things ago. But for some reason, everyone knew, we got along just fine. The thing is, we were authentic.

We could go years without seeing each other and he always remembered who I was.

You see, one day when a group of us were skiing together, we went down a run that was too hard for me. I had NO BUSINESS being on that ski run. I told the guys to go ahead. I'd meet them at the lodge.

They all went. Truly, I was fine.

I ended up in snow powder up to my waist. Trees all around me. Not knowing which way was up from down. Not a lift in site.

Out of nowhere, some skier appeared next to me and got me back to the trail. When we hit the trail, Bobby G was standing there.

Turning around, my little snow angel was gone. Bobby and I took the lift to the top. We all skied the rest of the day on what was one of my most favorite "white out" days ever (Meaning you couldn't see past the person next to you).

Another angel watching me.
Save me a spot in the lift lines.
See ya on the backside of Vail.

Rest in Peace Bobby G.......